bachelor vs. the family man

I've heard people comment before about the difference in lifestyle between a bachelor and a family man. From personal experience I would tend to agree with this thought process. A number of my habits have changed since I got married. Some examples include (but are not limited to) the following:

• The height of my laundry basket before washing
• The cleanliness/organization of my room
• The length of time I will go with a hole in a sock
• The length of time in between shaving my face
• The regularity of my eating out
• The regularity of my exercise
• The amount of money that makes it into savings
• The things I deem necessary for purchase

Just to be clear, Polly hasn't forced me to change in all these areas (and others). In many areas, it's my own growth as a man who has grown to understand the responsibility of caring for my household. The truth is that I was a lot more likely to spend money as a bachelor. I had less financial responsibility back then. My decisions don't only affect me any more.

So, where did this post come from anyway? As I said, I've heard people comment on the difference in lifestyle between a bachelor and a family man. This really stood out to me yesterday when my brother (a bachelor) came out to visit my family (Polly, Genevieve and me). Here's what happened...

My brother wanted to go grab something to munch on from the store. He asked me if I wanted to go with him. I asked him if he minded going to the grocery store because I had a couple of things I needed to pick up as well. When we returned to my house and unloaded our bags, it hit me. Looking at our individual purchases, I thought it was quite evident which of us was the bachelor and which was the family man. Don't believe me? Decide for yourself.

I could just tell you what our shopping bags looked like, but I thought it'd be better just to show you. We separated our items on the counter and snapped a quick photo.

Can you guess which side is my brother's purchase (bachelor) and which side is mine (family man)? Thought so.

I'm not claiming that this stereotype always proves true or that this is an absolute rule. But on this particular day and in this particular instance, it certainly did.

talent

After watching the NHL All-Star SuperSkills competition last night, I was reminded of a couple of things:

1. I was reminded why hockey is the best spectator sport and why their all-star weekend surpasses that of all other sports. I prefer the SuperSkills to MLB's Home Run Derby, NBA's Dunk Contest (and other events) or NFL's skills competition (by far the weakest).

2. I was reminded how untalented I am when it comes to hockey. I have no clue how those guys do half the things they do. From the accuracy shooting to Zdeno Chara's 105.9 mph slap-shot to the speed skating around the rink. They absolutely amaze me.

This got me thinking about talent. I think everyone has at least one thing at which they are talented. This is due in part to the fact that there is such a wide array of talents. There are many things that many people of capable of doing, but they aren't necessarily areas of talent for them. Let me give you an example.

Photography. Who doesn't own a camera, digital camera or cell phone with a built-in camera? Answer: Not many people. Everyone loves to take photographs. Facebook, blogs and other such websites create an ideal forum for people sharing photos. People put up pictures that look good and when people comment on how good they look, they take such pride in it.

I have recently posted numerous pictures of my baby Genevieve on my Facebook. I try to take shots that look cute and post them with such pride. People have even commented on how nice some of the pics are. I had one that I was favoring as a great daddy-daughter photo. Then my friend Cathy came over to do a baby photo shoot. She's gone to school for photographer. She's a photographer...like, the real deal. Her knack for finding a great position and manipulating lighting and coming from the perfect angle amazes me. She posted some preview photos on her website (clpop.com: see for yourself...they're amazing!). The daddy-daughter photo she created (I choose the word "created" because her work is truly art) blew my mind. She has an eye for photography that the average person doesn't have. That's talent.

I believe that all talent comes naturally and innately. In order to develop that talent and allow it to reach it's full potential, one must study and practice and hone that talent. But you're either born with it or your not. For example, no matter how many voice lessons I went to, I would never be able to sing well. Talent is something that comes naturally. On the other hand, someone could have a great voice, but without lessons and proper training, it will never reach its full potential.

I like to think that one of my talents (or maybe, my only talent) is writing. I don't think I'm the best writer that's ever graced this planet, but I know that it's something that comes very naturally to me and typically I receive compliments for it. I'm not trying to be vain here, so please don't get me wrong. My point is that everyone has a talent. If you think you are the one person who doesn't, you're wrong. If you're not sure what your talent is, do a little soul searching and work toward discovering it. That's the reason I have this blog...

breaking news...

I try not to make a habit of watching the news. I often find the news to be depressing and/or irrelevant (there will likely be another blog on this topic, as it's a topic to itself). As many of you know, I was home from work all this week due to my daughter's birth (she's 1 week old today!). I found myself watching the "Channel 7 News at Noon" while eating my lunch on Thursday (1.27). The newscast began with "Breaking News" on the screen. I cannot lie, this grabbed my attention. But what followed was hyped way too much in my opinion. Let me quickly paint the situation for you:

The anchor mentioned that there was a roof collapse at a garage which had two men trapped for 3 hours. They then went to live video from the scene of the collapse from Sky 7 (their chopper). Next, the anchor kicked it out to a live reporter on the scene. They told the whole story of the problem and resolution. An intriguing story no doubt. Then they kicked it to another reporter on the other side of the garage. That reporter basically retold the story. You'll never guess what happened next...that's right, they went to a third reporter on the scene. Three reporters, an anchor and a crew on Sky 7 all telling the same story.

It was an interesting enough story, but was blown out of proportion. Not to mention, the whole situation was resolved by the time they were reporting it. There were no injuries sustained. Really, it wasn't much of a breaking news story anyway. Must have been a slow news day. Maybe that's why that story was followed up by a man standing on a snow mound in a shopping center parking lot and then a women standing in a snow mound on the side of a busy street. For those who couldn't look out their window, this was probably crucial information I suppose.

Anyway, I think the news will become the boy who cried wolf to me. The graphic "Breaking News" has lost meaning to me.

what babies, toddlers and dads have in common...

Genevieve is a very content baby. She isn't very fussy and doesn't cry much. There are only a couple things that make her fussy: getting changed and occasionally a little while after she's done eating. In these moments, we give her a pacifier. As a typical baby, the sucking soothes her. As soon as she falls asleep or simply after a little while, we take the pacifier away. We don't want her to be pacifier dependent. I am sure to take it when she's not in the process of sucking. But no matter what, as soon as I start pulling it out, she starts sucking again. I still take it and she doesn't mind (especially when she's sleeping). But, it reminded me of a typical dad.

I don't know about your dads, but mine doesn't use a pacifier...so, how does this remind me of him? Think of a typical dad watching TV. He falls asleep. He is clearly not watching it as he snores away. You change the channel and your dad instantly wakes up to scold you for changing the channel he's watching. I know this is not only my dad, but is typical for all dads.

Ever see one toddler try to use another toddler's toy when they're not even using it? They instantly run over and grab it and start playing with it themselves. They didn't want the toy until they saw they couldn't have it.

Catch that similarity? Even though they're not using the particular item, they want it as soon as you take it away. I don't know where that mentality comes from, but it's intriguing to me.

As a side note...babies, toddlers and dads all seem to like walking around in their underwear (if you count diapers as underwear). Hmmm, I wonder what other similarities exist between the three...

tip of the week: seek constructive criticism

Today is Thursday, which means tip of the week time. Today's tip is a little more comical, but is still intended to be a serious tip. I hope you can take something from it.

This tip came to mind while I was watching "American Idol" last night. My wife and I still love watching this show, especially in the beginning when they have so many untalented crazy people. I find people singing badly compelling in a train wreck sort of way...you can't turn away no matter how bad it is.

I believe there are two types of bad singers on "American Idol":

1. People who know they're bad but just want to get on TV. Their phoniness is so blatantly obvious. They're annoying to watch.

2. People who seriously think they're legitimately good singers. They really believe they have the talent to be the next American Idol, but really have no shot. And they respond to this one of two ways:

• They accept the criticism with no issue (though they may be a little sad)
• They flip out and accuse the judges of an inability to judge. They think the judges are wrong. They typically reference how everyone else tells them how good they are.

I would like to focus on the second reaction by the second type of bad singer to make my point here. For example, last night there was a girl freaking out. She said the judges didn't like her because of her weight. She claimed to be better than most of the other competitors there. She is so serious it's ridiculous...ly funny to me and just incredibly obnoxious. She thought she was so good even though it was so obvious she wasn't good at all. This brought up a thought to me: who are the people telling her she's good? Why would people lie to her so she could embarrass herself on national TV in front of millions of people.

So, here's my tip, which covers more than this situation. Whenever you're thinking of taking a big step in a direction you want to move in, seek constructive criticism. You may not like to hear some negative things, but it's better to hear them from people you know and appreciate than from random people in front of millions. I'm not trying to discourage anyone from chasing his/her dreams, I'm just trying to encourage people to make sure they're not wasting time and energy and emotions.

it's different when the baby's mine

I have other blog posts lined up which have nothing to do with my beautiful baby girl. But let's be honest, I've got baby on my mind. So, here goes...

I always love visiting new babies. I get so excited to see the little nuggets. I love looking at their little toes and fingers and noses and ears and tongues and so on. I love holding them and listening to their little noises. And then after about an hour, I'm ready to hand them back to their parents and go home.

The idea of looking at or smelling "bathroom results" makes me a little queasy. The idea of touching it makes me want to cut my hands off.

Oh, the effects of a little perspective. One thing I've learned firsthand these last few days that it's different when the baby's mine.

I could stare at my daughter all day. I don't get bored of looking at her. She sleeps on me for hours on end and those hours fly by in my mind.

I am not the least bit bothered when I have to change her. More than anything, I feel bad for the little one that she cannot control herself. My heart goes out to her. And because of that, I am happy to take care of her and make her feel better.

So, forgive me for being that dad that always wants to talk about his child, but what can I say? It's different when the baby's mine!

google this...

Come on. Admit it...you've googled your name before. And if you hadn't, I bet you are right now. It's fun to see if your name comes up and if so, what comes up about you. It's also neat to see what famous people you may share a name with. Due to the commonality of my name, I am always relegated to the latter. I think it's cool to have the same name as some well-known people, but I would think it was cooler if info came up about me when I googled my name. Sometimes, I wish I had a more unique name.

When I was younger, there was another Michael Brown that went to the same doctor with the same birthday (he was two years younger). Whenever I call companies, it takes so much info for them to find my account. I wrote a blog post before about why I'm such a big Red Sox fan. A pitcher for the Red Sox pitched a no-hitter when I was 1 day old. His name: Michael Brown. Michael Brown was the irresponsible director of FEMA who mishandled Hurricane Katina. Point is, my name is so common. I don't even show up when I type in "Pastor Mike Brown."

If I narrow my search to only folks with the name Michael Alan Brown, I still don't make the cut. Apparently there is martial artist with the same name. He's a recognized master of the Ching Yi Kung Fu System. I bet he could kick my butt.

Anyway, I decided to google my daughter. There are other people with the name Genevieve Brown, but nobody of any real significance. But when I narrowed the search to her full name: Genevieve Ruth Brown, I discovered something cool. The first link that shows up is the link to my blog post about her birth from Sunday, January 23. I guess we've given her a unique enough name.

I think googling names is intriguing. And I'm impressed by the self-control of anyone who reads this and does not google his/her own name. That would be like not thinking of a pink elephant while reading this sentence. You know you can't prevent it. It's inevitable. Go ahead, try it out. Let me know what you discover.

new perspective

My daughter has only been on the outside for a day and a half now, but I've already figured out how little girls so easily wrap their dads around their fingers.

Every time her eyes meet mine, my heart melts.

Every time I hold her body against mine, my heart skips a beat.

Every time I hear her sweet, gentle whine, my ears perk up and I hit the phone booth...it's time for Superdad to find out what's wrong and save the day!

I find myself constantly telling her how beautiful and sweet and precious she is.

I constantly refer to her as daddy's little girl.

I would do anything for my little princess...I'd give her the world.

I will always do the best I can. And the best I can do is to pray for her. I've prayed for her every day since I found out my wife was pregnant. And I've prayed for her for years before that.

I absolutely love Genevieve...unconditionally.

Becoming a father has given me a new perspective. It has given me new insight into the character of God. I finally see a glimpse of the love that God has for us. Someday, I might let my daughter down. Hopefully it won't be anything major, but since I'm human, it's inevitable. But God never lets us down. He's the perfect Father.

Genevieve's birth has taught me a lot about love. Her birth has given me a deeper love for Polly, a deeper love for her, and a deeper love for God!

Genevieve is the greatest gift I've ever received. God is so good!

genevieve ruth brown

She's finally here! My daughter, Genevieve Ruth Brown was officially born on January 22, 2011 at 5:19 p.m. She was 8 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches in length. As many of you know, I've been waiting for this moment with great anticipation for quite some time (she was after all 10 days overdue). As though this news isn't exciting enough (and believe me when I say that I could not possibly be more elated), here's the icing on the cake for me: We have a story. Let me explain.

I feel like people always have a story to tell with the birth of their children (especially the first). It may involve where they were when something happened or what specifically happened or numerous other things that make their experience unique to them. For example, I know of a woman who had both of her children at home on her bathroom floor. I also remember hearing that a woman gave birth stuck in a big traffic mess in the middle of a snowstorm a few years back. Not all stories are this extreme, but most people at least have something to base their story on.

Once Genevieve didn't make it by her due date, I accepted the "reality" that she was going to be born on her induction date which was scheduled for tomorrow (Monday, January 24, 2011). Polly and I were looking forward to a relaxing weekend, including a final date (which I've been referring to as the "last meal") before Genevieve's arrival. So, what happened to change all that? Well, let me tell you my story:

I was quite tired when I fell asleep on Friday night. I had a dream that Polly had the baby, but it happened at our house (which was not our house, see my for my list of crazy things that make dreams weird) because we waited too long. I woke up to Polly getting out of bed at 3:15 a.m. Every time I've heard Polly stir lately, it wakes me up with the hope that it will finally be the time. As it turned out, Polly just needed to use the facilities. Moments later, when she got back into bed, I couldn't believe my ears. Polly said, "Um, I think my water just broke." I told her to call our doctor's office who connected us with the on-call doctor at our hospital. The doctor told us to come in to check. So, by 4:00 a.m., we were on our way to the hospital.

At first they didn't think Polly's water had in fact broken. I thought they were about to send us home...false alarm. But upon further inspection, they discovered it had. To make a long story short, Genevieve Ruth Brown was born a little more than 12 hours after we arrived at the hospital.

Most of you know that I have compared waiting for a baby to waiting for Christmas morning. I've mentioned a few similarities and differences. Here's a big difference: unlike Christmas morning which fades into Christmas evening when all is coming to an end, there is nothing anticlimactic about having a baby!

if you're really so offended...

In yesterday's blog post, I mentioned how I was offended by a commercial the other day. Before I talked about my experience of being offended, I referenced how I'm typically the person to roll my eyes at the sound of the word "offended" or any variation thereof, as I feel like it's overused. In today's post, I want to bring up an example of a case where someone claimed to be offended but acted in a manner that seemed to indicate otherwise.

You may or may not be familiar with this story. I'd rather not get into all the details for the sake of the younger people who read this blog, but I'll give you the basics which should suffice to make my point.

The incident occurred last Saturday at an indoor lacrosse game in Boston (at the Garden). During the halftime show, there was a tasteless (especially considering the family-nature of the crowd) contest which included women dancing provocatively for the mascot (it was his birthday). Apparently this led to booing and some people exiting the arena. Some people claimed to be offended. I must be honest here: if I had my child at a sporting event and that happened, I would be offended (and extremely angry). I don't deny that there were likely some offended people.

I want to focus on one particular guy who claimed to be offended. I believe his actions contradicted his claim of being offended. Tell me what you think.

The man in question was the only known person to grab a camera (or phone) and film the offensive behavior, post the offensive behavior on YouTube for all to see, delivered the offensive video to the news for even more to see, and soaked up every moment of the spotlight describing the offensive behavior for all to hear.

It's my contention that if he truly so offended by the incident, he wouldn't have put it online for hundreds of thousands of people to see. I mean, my best guess is that 5,000 or so people may have been at the event. If he was truly offended, why would he want to subject anyone else to it. If he had reported the story to the news, that might be one thing. But recording and providing a video...smells like a guy who knew he could get some airtime and his 15 minutes of fame.

I think it's also worth noting that the news put on their typical "we can't believe how offensive this is" face telling people how offensive it was before they aired the video themselves. Why do people need to see the incident if it was that offensive. Report it for what it is, but don't subject more people to it. That's the news for you though.

Anyway, that's just my two cents about the situation. Maybe you disagree. Let me know.

story of the man taping the dancers and the news airing it...

offended

I think most people would agree that the word "offended" is vastly overused these days. There is no way that some people are actually offended as often as they claim to be. Either that, or people have become way too sensitive. Regardless, I usually roll my eyes at the sound of the word. I will be giving a good example of this tomorrow, as this is not the purpose of today's blog post.

The point of this blog post is to bring up something that actually offended me. And I am not easily offended (which you may have deduced from the statements made in the first paragraph). I'm not going to make a stink about it or anything like that, but I'd be lying if I claimed that I wasn't offended. And believe me when I tell you that I tried. I tried to laugh it off (it does humor me to an extent, as I do not take myself very serious).

So, what offended me to the point of blogging about it? It all went down Wednesday night. I was relaxing at home, watching television. I was minding my own business when a commercial came on. It was the first time I had ever seen this particular commercial. I'm curious if anyone else has ever seen it. Let me describe it for you:

The commercial showed numerous people in various work environments. They each started pushing on a wall. Eventually they each break through their wall. It shows them walking through the broken wall. One was a security guard working in a "guard shack." One was a grocery store employee. There were numerous other jobs featured. Then it mentions how if you earn your GED you can break through the barriers that have been holding you back. Turns out it was a GED commercial.

So, here's my problem. Most of you probably know that I'm a youth pastor. Because my position is only part-time, I need a full-time job to supplement my income. My secondary job (though admittedly the majority of my income): Security Officer. Where do I work? In a "guard shack" (though we call it a "kiosk"). I find it incredibly offensive and disrespectful to people who hold these jobs to suggest that it's a barrier to break through. I love my job. And not only do I already have a high school diploma, but I have a B.A. So, I'm pretty sure that not all security officers are high school dropouts as the commercial implies (or so I inferred from it).

I don't typically get offended by things, but I thought this commercial was incredibly outrageous. I took it quite personally. I still think most people overreact (see tomorrow's blog) but I learned a lesson here none the less: Sometimes, people might actually be legitimately offended, as I was the other day.

tip of the week: alternative uses for common products

Often times, the hardest problems have simple solutions. And often times, the simple solutions are the ones least thought of, right in front of your eyes. We all laughed at the home remedies discussed in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," but the truth is that home remedies are often the best remedies. If you believe the numerous books written on the topic, the most useful household product might be duct tape. You can spend hours figuring out new ways to take advantage of the sticky gray tape often mis-pronounced as "duck tape" (quack, quack). But did you know that there are thousands of other solutions to everyday problems using common household items? I'm only going to list a few of my favorite items, but the real tip here is this: Always google household solutions to a problem before you spend money on fixing it.

Ok, so here are my top three favorite useful item tips:

1. Rice - Accidentally stick your cell phone in the cup of water in your car's cup-holder (I have) or drop it in a toilet (check me off for that one too) or get your cell phone wet in some other fashion? Best way to dry it out involves rice. Always be sure to immediately remove the battery first. Remove your Sim card while you're at it too. Stick the phone in a Rubbermaid container full of dry rice overnight. It will soak of the water. For full instructions, click here.
2. Quarters - Ever have a flashlight die only to find out it takes D batteries and you don't have any (who keeps D batteries around anyway?) but don't feel like (or can't) drive to the store? Do you have C batteries lying around? You can use C batteries and fill the gap left with quarters to complete the connection. Don't believe me, read it for yourself.
3. Aluminum Foil - We've all used aluminum foil to enhance our antenna reception (at least we did) and to build an alien-resilient helmet (at least I thought about it), but did you know that aluminum foil has many additional uses including sharpening your scissors? Just cut through about 5 or 6 layers of aluminum foil and those scissors should be good as new.

Bonus: Click here to see how your freezer can solve the following 6 problems:

1. Unpopped popcorn
2. Waxy candlesticks
3. Candles burning out too quickly
4. Photos stuck together
5. Dirty pots
6. Smelly items like old books

You may not like all the solutions out there. Let's face it, I'm never using mustard on my chest to eliminate congestion! But you might be amazed by how many cool homemade remedies and alternative product uses there are out there. Check some out for yourself. Be sure to share any you have with me.

literally my biggest pet peeve ever!

I am so hungry, I could literally eat a cow: false

I literally hate when people make statements like this: fact

The reality is that "literally" is ridiculously overused. That being said, that's not my pet peeve as many words are ridiculously overused. My pet peeve is that "literally" is ridiculously misused. People throw around the word "literally" in sentences where it simply does not belong. This word has fallen victim to the Age of English Ignorance. Let's face it, most young people no longer write in full sentences, capitalize proper nouns or spell words correctly. These are some issues I will tackle in a future blog. But the most annoying thing to me in this era is the misuse of words, giving them new meanings.

"Literally" has become a word of emphasis. Instead of saying, "This car is sweet," "This whip is jig to the ankles," "This is one happening ride" or any other similar phrase from days gone by, the modern teenager might say, "This is literally the most amazing car ever!" It's hyperbole at it's finest, except that it's completely changing the meaning of the word "literally."

"No big deal," you might say. "That's not a sensible pet peeve," you might posit. And you may be right, except for the following discovery I made when looking up the definition of "literally":

Definition Source: Merriam-Webster online dictionary (m-w.com)

1. : in a literal sense or manner : ACTUALLY [took the remark literally] [literally insane]
2. : in effect : VIRTUALLY [will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty and injustice - Norman Cousins]

Did you notice that too? Merriam-Webster has added the modern young people's use of the word as an appropriate definition. Instead of maintaining the integrity of the word, they simply re-defined it to fit with this sub-culture. The majority of people do not use "literally" in this way. No wonder English is such a tough language to learn...they can change a definition at a whim. "Are you sure that hasn't been the definition for some time?" you might ask. Call me old fashioned, but I have a physical, tangible dictionary on my book shelf. Naturally I checked the definition out of curiosity with regard to this question I asked myself. Here's what I found:

Definition Source: Webster's II New College Dictionary (Houghton Mifflin Company: Boston. Copyright 2001)

1. In a strict or literal sense.

2. Really : actually ["There are people in the world who literally do not know how to boil water" - Craig Claiborne]

This definition from 10 years ago makes no mention of the internet version's 2nd definition. Merriam-Webster completely changed the definition of the word...and quite significantly.

Misusing words is a pet peeve, but this is my biggest pet peeve. It's bad that young people have butchered the word "literally" but the fact that the dictionary changed to accommodate them is inexcusable.

I am literally done with this blog post at the end of this sentence.

you may say that i'm a dreamer...

...but I'm not the only one! It would make sense for me to be talking about dreaming along the same lines as John Lennon in his song "Imagine" considering that Martin Luther King Jr. Day was yesterday. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for MLK and all the people who had a dream of a better world where acceptance of all people was more prevalent. But, that's not the dreaming I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the mental movies most people (I say most because I'm sure there's a small percentage of the population that is unable to dream) experience during their sleep.

I am definitely someone who dreams. Sometimes I remember my dreams. Sometimes I don't. Often, I initially remember my dreams vividly but forget most aspects by the time my feet hit the floor and only remember that I had a dream but forget all important aspects (if not all aspects period) by the time my face feels the spray of my shower. Regardless of whether or not I remember them, I know that I've dreamed almost every night.

Often times dreams are weird. Some of the aspects that make dreams weird are that they sometimes:

1. Merge various moments from my day together.

• Example: I had an odd dream on a Tuesday night a couple of weeks after having watched the season premiere of "The Biggest Loser." The episode focused a lot on new mystery trainers that they never revealed. That same night I saw a commercial featuring Carmen Electra. This commercial caused a brief (but forgettable) discussion between my friend Harry, my wife and me. In my dream that night I was with a group of people training with Bob when he announced a new training DVD featuring a mystery trainer. Then he surprised us by revealing to us that the trainer was Carmen Electra.

2. Deal with issues weighing on our mind.

• Example: Most of my dreams lately have involved Polly giving birth to our baby. The other night was the first time I saw what she looked like in a dream. Naturally I don't remember what she looked like at all, but I do remember Polly mentioning in the dream that our baby looked just like her family.

3. Change locations and situations, but they still make sense.

• Explanation: Often times people and places change but for some reason they seem natural. In my dream, I might be in my house and I know it's my house, but it doesn't resemble a house I've ever seen before. Or maybe it is my house but when I walk outside it's not where my house is. Or weirder still, the house changes throughout the dream. Similarly, my wife might not really be my wife or my family might not really be my family but in the dream it all makes sense.

4. Blur the line between being asleep and being awake.

• Explanation 1: Sometimes I think I've woken up and then something crazy happens and later I find out that I hadn't really woken up, but woke up within the confines of my dream. Basically I'm saying that sometimes I think I dream within my dream.
• Explanation 2: Rarely (but it does happen) I realize I'm dreaming while I'm still dreaming. In these instances I can completely control my dream to make anything happen. When I wake up, I know that I was dreaming and not awake, but I also had control of my dream. So weird.

5. Blur the line between the dream and reality.

• Explanation 1: If my alarm starts going off while I'm dreaming, my alarm becomes a sound within my dream...and it seems to fit. Suddenly there's an alarm sounding to warn me of something on a submarine or something. After a short amount of time, I slowly wake up to realize the noise is my alarm. This also happens to me sometimes with people talking. If Polly is waking me up by calling my name, Polly is in my dream calling my name for a reason that makes total sense. Eventually I wake up and realize it was in reality she is calling my name, not just a dream.

6. Make no sense at all.

• Explanation: Sometimes there are absolutely no elements of the dream that make sense at all. I wake up feeling weird and out of sorts. These dreams can cause me confusion until sometime after I've taken my shower.

7. They repeat or continue.

• Explanation: There have been times when I swear that I've dreamed the same dream on multiple occasions. There have also been times when a dream seems to pick up where one from before left off or where a fantasy world created in a previous dream has a new chapter to it.

8. They cause a physical reaction/response.

• Example: I've had dreams that have caused me to physically react in the real world. A few months ago, I was dreaming that I was being attacked by big bird-bugs. Polly woke up to me sitting up in bed and flailing my arms behind my back to get them away from me. She asked what was going on. Apparently I tried to explain myself. She had fun at my expense for a while.
• Explanation: This also includes the jumping when you awake while falling in your dream or just about any nightmare I guess.

I'm sure I could come up with other aspects that can make dreams weird, but I think you get the idea. Dreams can be really weird. No, dreams are usually

1. I was in Heaven. In my dream, Heaven and Earth were separated by a strong fence with a gate. Jesus stood at the gate. Each day, I would go to the gate and Jesus would let me out to go play with my friends in the world (I know that this is not theologically accurate to how Heaven will be, but you'll see that this was necessary to get the point across). Each time, I would come back to the gate and Jesus would allow me to re-enter since I belonged their. One day I went out to the world to play with my friends as usual. And I returned to Jesus at the gate to be let back into Heaven as usual. Except Jesus would not let me in. He said, "You have been going back and forth between me and the world for too long. You cannot enter the Kingdom."

Needless to say, that one pretty much got my attention.

2. We were driving around in our old brown Ford Aerostar (many, many years after we had gotten rid of it) when suddenly the rapture happened. I felt something weird happening to my body as though I was about to go when I suddenly woke up. My body was completely paralyzed and I could not move.

I know there is a psychological reason for this due to stages of sleep and such, but it still had an amazing impact on me. I laid in bed and cried out to God.

Dreams are a funny thing. Usually they're just a way to decompress and relieve stress. Sometimes their wacky because you had pizza and soda right before bed (those are always the craziest). But every once in a while a dream comes along that feels like it's meant to tell you something. Then you're left to figure out what it's trying to say. One of my youth had one of those dreams recently too. She mentioned it to me. I did not have an interpretation for it. I told her to pray and ask God for one. That's the best I know to do.

How about you? You ever have a really weird or really meaningful dream?

All this leads me to question the legitimacy of the statement "Sweet dreams!" Really...are they?

not too sweet, not too sour

The Patriots opted for a one-and-done postseason for the second straight year. To make matters worse, they got destroyed by their arch-rivals! The Pats haven't won the Super Bowl since the 2004 season. They may have been the team of last decade, but things haven't looked pretty in the playoffs for them for some time. Let's not forget the perfect season slipping through their fingers when they lost the Super Bowl during the 2007 season.

Here's a quick glimpse from the Boston sports scene in recent years:

• The Red Sox failing to make the playoffs last season
• The Bruins blowing a 3-0 series lead and lost game 7 after leading the game 3-0
• The Celtics losing in game 7 of the finals (blowing a 3-2 series lead) to their arch-rival, the L.A. Lakers

When you add all that together, it paints a not so pretty picture of sports around here in recent years. That after we were spoiled with 6 championships in the decade.

When I was younger (even through college) I was devastated when my teams lost. I was also elated when my teams won. It literally affected my mood. Results of sports teams mattered so much to me. I went crazy after the Pats won each of their three Super Bowls. I was stoked when the Red Sox reversed the curse and won the World Series. These things seemed so important to me.

Then after college, something happened that changed my outlook...I grew up. I'm no longer a Toys R Us kid. I realized it when the Red Sox won the 2007 World Series. I felt like I was supposed to be stoked. I was happy, but I wasn't the same emotional person I had been in years past. I knew for sure that it happened when the Giants beat the Pats in the Super Bowl. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't devastated. My mood wasn't ruined.

As I've grown up, I enjoy watching sports, but it has become clear to me that the victory is no longer so sweet and defeat no longer so sour.

So, I'm not happy that the Jets beat the Pats, but I'm also not going to lose any sleep over it. Not to mention I have more important things going on in my life...like my wife having a baby soon.

How about you? Have you grown up yet?

a flawed shopper

I enjoy grocery shopping. Truth be told, I find it relaxing. Polly seems to enjoy it when I go with her, and when it's convenient to her, I go on my own. With Polly being at home a whole lot more often once the baby comes (she's going to be a stay-at-home mom), I fear that I will not see too many shopping trips moving forward. This may actually be a good thing though as grocery shopping tends to bring out two connected flaws. Let me know if I'm alone in this one:

1. I am an extremely nosy shopper. I'm that guy that looks into other people's carts to see what they're buying. I don't look at people's carts so I can copy them (quick tangent: there was a really funny episode of King of Queens where Carrie stalked some woman around the grocery store to copy her list because she didn't have any Thanksgiving recipes of her own). Instead, I find it intriguing to see what they buy. Well, it's deeper than that to be honest. The reason I am such a nosy shopper leads directly into my second major flaw.

2. I am an extremely judgmental shopper. The truth is that I look in other people's carts to see what they buy so I can judge them for it. I'm amazed at how many families blow money on unhealthy junk food. I'm sickened when I see carts void of anything natural or green. Often times I look into a cart, I see boxed this or frozen that. I see bags of chips and bottles of soda. I see cookies and donuts. I see saturated fats, high sodium items and calories, calories, calories! I judge people. Not all people. I mean, I actually feel for the lonely old man buying TV dinners. I'm sure that guy misses a good homemade meal. Him, I don't judge. But most others I do.

I know that I probably shouldn't be this way. That being said, based on what I see in shopping carts, I see two cycles being perpetuated before my very eyes: poor budgeting (it's not cheap to load up on so much junk food) and obese America (not to mention, unhealthy).

I'm not saying that Polly and I are the healthiest eaters ever. We don't buy everything organic or all-natural. Truth be told, most of the healthiest items are not the cheapest. We eat some preservatives and saturated fats. But we definitely do limit them. Polly's a great cook, so I prefer freshly homemade meals anyway. So I know we don't eat perfectly, but some people seem to have no nutritional standards. I have a feeling this country will remain the most obese (and unhealthy) for quite some time to come.

For the record, I can't be the only nosy, judgmental shopper right?

everyone has their kryptonite

I went sledding today for the first time in a few years. I had so much fun, except for when I had to walk back up the hill all those times. Oh well. While there, I ran into my barber and his family. As he was walking past, I made a comment to him. He instantly realized who I was and then said how he didn't recognize me at first.  He didn't recognize me at first. This is the guy who knows exactly what I want when I get in the chair without having to say a word. This is the guy who always remembers everything that's going on in my life once I get into the chair. This is the guy who tells me that he saw me running through town or past his house on a random day. And suddenly, this was the guy who didn't recognize me at first. I always comment on how barbers and hair stylists have some of the best memories of anyone I know.

And do you know why he didn't recognize me at first? Because of his kryptonite: I was wearing a hat! To finish his comment he made, he said, "I didn't recognize you at first with that hat on." I had never really thought of that before. My barber recognizes me based on my hair. When I covered my hair with a hat, he suddenly didn't recognize me. My hat was his kryptonite.

It got me thinking about what some other people's kryptonite might be. Here are a few I thought of:

Rex Ryan: socks

Antonio Cromartie: class

Britney Spears: style

George Bush: articulation

Justin Bieber: talent

Ok, so all kidding aside...everyone has their kryptonite. I wonder what mine is. What's yours?

i blame people for my impatience

Why do I already feel like the baby is so late when she's only technically a little over a day late right now? People. People have been bugging us about why the baby hasn't been born yet for over 2 weeks. People were stressing the birth of the baby since a little after Christmas. The due date has been January 12 since the beginning. Mentally, the due date has been December 30 since Christmas thanks to people stressing the issue. I blame people for my impatience.

I've already expressed my anticipation in a blog post from January 5, 2011 titled  "like a kid at christmas" (Click the link to read that blog post). Waiting for the birth of my baby is like a kid at christmas...only now, it's like it's on steroid.

Christmas Eve feels like the longest day of the year, especially to a kid. Itseems like Christmas will never come. The positive/negative of birth (as I mentioned) is that it's generally undetermined.To make matters worse, I have convinced myself that the baby will not be born until the last possible day (the doctor will let us go 2 weeks before induction with some qualifiers that could push it a little sooner.) Granted, I could be completely wrong and she could come sooner, but in my mind (it's a mental battle), she's coming two weeks late.

Add to that the 2 weeks people were stressing and that's like 28 straight days of Christmas Eve! If she actually goes to that point, that will be quite miserable.

Could you imagine that anticipation as a kid for 28 straight days? That would be awful. I wish people didn't start stressing so early, making me stress the issue so early.

I know I can't really blame others for my impatience, but it doesn't make what I've said untrue. All that being said, impatience is my problem, and I'm working on completely giving it to the Lord. I do trust God for his timing. I just need to do a better job of getting out of the way.

tip of the week: don't focus on the scale

Fact 1: On average, our society is incredibly overweight.

There are many reasons for this including things like meal portions, fast food meals, lack of exercise, lack of education, etc. Regardless the reason, Americans are dealing with obesity in record numbers (hey, I was technically obese just a couple of years ago).

Fact 2: On average, our society is addicted to weight loss.

There are no shortage of dieting solutions on the shelves of bookstores and department stores. There are no shortage of commercials promising easy solutions and massive weight loss in short periods of time. Many people watch as Biggest Loser contestants shed 20, 30 and sometimes even 40 lbs in a single week. In fact, it gets ridiculous at points. I've heard Biggest Loser contestants complain when they've only lost 5, 6 or 7 lbs in a single week. Seriously, that's crazy!

Fact 3: Sustainable weight loss will come from hard work and changed habits.

Everything in life comes at a price. There ultimately is no such thing as an "easy" solution. As the old adage says, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is." If you want to lose weight, it will be hard work and changed habits. People often ask me how I not only lost my weight, but how I've been able to keep it off. I tell them this same truth. As another old adage says, "Slow and steady wins the race." Losing weight the right way means sticking with a plan for the long-haul. Don't be deceived into thinking otherwise. This leads to my tip of the week.

Tip of the week: If you're looking to lose weight, don't focus on the scale.

This seems contrary to our nature and everything we're "taught" by society. It almost seems illogical to avoid focusing on the scale when your goal is to lose weight. But the truth is that though weight loss may show up on a scale, fat loss doesn't always. And sometimes it takes a little time until you start seeing results. But that doesn't mean that you're not taking positive steps in the right direction when the scale's not showing results. I feel like the scale is more of an enemy than a friend at times. The scale can be discouraging. Don't worry what the scale says, worry about how you feel. Do you feel like your exercise and change eating pattern has you feeling better, more energized, like you fit in your clothes a little better? Listen to your body and focus on what it has to say instead of some dumb scale.

more like mommy or daddy?

Today is a day we've had marked on our calendar for the past 9 months or so: January 12, 2011...our baby's due date! Will today actually be the day we've been waiting for? Only time will tell. Today we'll find out if she gets her timeliness from her mommy or her daddy. Her mommy tends to be punctual (and even early) whereas her daddy tends to be more apt to be tardy.

In fact, the truth is that Polly and I always wonder which characteristics she'll get from mommy and which ones she'll get from daddy. I think that's the normal thing for new parents-to-be to do. We've discussed which physical characteristics we want her to have. We've discussed which personality traits we want her to have. We've even discussed which sleeping schedule we'd prefer her having.

What does all this discussion and hopefulness mean in the end? Nothing. But it's still good banter to pass the time as we patiently await our little one's arrival.

If you've had children, have you and your significant other had similar discussions? Did any of these discussions mean a thing once the baby arrived? I want to hear what you have to say.

blessings poured out as showers continue

As recent as a few months ago, I was overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that a new baby requires. College and weddings may cost a good chunk of change, but at least you have 18+ years to plan and save. Baby's cost a lot of money out of the gate and you only really have 9-10 months of planning time. I wasn't stressed out (1. that's not in my nature and 2. my trust is in the Lord) but I was definitely overwhelmed by the thought of all the things we would need to buy. I mean, we had absolutely no furniture, clothes, diapers, strollers, etc. And all of those things add up financially.

Fast forward with me to today and we are all set with the furniture, we have plenty of clothes, we have a good starting supply of diapers, we have a travel system stroller AND a jogger stroller and so many other things our daughter will benefit from having. So, how did our situation change so drastically over the last few months? The most important words we can ever depend on (after God, of course): loving friends and family.

The main way our friends and family have been a blessing to us is through baby showers. With our most recent surprise shower (and probably most unique), we have had 5 such baby showers. Here's the quick breakdown:

1. Polly's mom threw her a baby shower in New Jersey in the beginning of November
2. Our church threw Polly a baby shower the first weekend of December
3. Polly's school surprised her (though I was in on it) with a baby shower a couple of days later
4. My mom threw us a baby shower in Malden the second weekend of December
5. My friends from my old work location (Waltham) threw together a baby shower of sorts just yesterday. They took a donation for a gift card, all signed a card and even had a cake (a gathering of people with gifts and a cake has to constitute a shower). The only thing missing at the party was Polly and me. They knew I wouldn't be able to make it but had a cake anyway. Then sent a good-size piece of the cake along with the card. Classic. For a change, I can honestly say I was surprised.

And all of this doesn't even count the other group from Waltham that pooled together to give me a baby gift before I left for Northborough, the numerous friends and family who have sent us gifts in the mail or when they've seen us, left over diapers friends with a young baby have passed along, the Christmas presents (including "coupons" for any one item from BJ's for each month of the year), or the lightly used items people have passed on to us. And that doesn't include the inevitable gifts she'll receive when she's born or when people come to visit (not that I think people need to do this, but I'm not dumb enough to not realize that many will).

Our baby still has a good bit of gift cards and cash leftover which will come in handy as she needs additional things moving forward.

And we take none of these things for granted! We recognize how blessed we are! We have prayed that God would take care of our needs with regards to our baby. It is no surprise to me that God has chosen to provide through the love of amazing friends and family. We don't take these gifts lightly as we know they have tremendously lightened our load. In fact, we are truly humbled by the love and warmth we've felt. And we've acknowledged something in the process: Our precious little one is going to be well-loved and well-cared for by so many people. She will have the opportunity to share the appreciation that I've felt for these people for quite some time!

these are a few of my favorite things

Before I begin today's blog I would like to point out that today is January 11, 2011. The date can also be read this way: 1/11/11...that's pretty cool. The only day this year that will be cooler is November 11 or 11/11/11, but we'll get to that when it comes. Anyway, onto the blog.

Many people have favorites of particular things, like a favorite color, a favorite food, a favorite number, etc. I am one such person. I've got a favorite of everything. In fact, I'm that guy who claims every movie to be my favorite if I like it and it's being discussed. But, even with that being said, I don't see the point in declaring favorites. Does having a favorite number mean you will have no use for other numbers, or having a favorite color mean you won't buy/wear things that are other colorings, or having a favorite food mean it's all you will eat? Of course not. So really, I'm not sure haven't favorites is so important, with the exception of giving fodder for an otherwise awkward first date.

Pointless or not, as I said, even I have them. So here are my meaningless favorites:

• Color - Most people who know me would tell you that my favorite color is orange. They would be correct. In fact, I've like orange for quite some time. I also like brown. When I was younger, my favorite color was green. I don't know how/why that should change. Regardless, I like earth tones.
• Food - I know it sounds cliche but if I was given the option to eat anything, I'd pick lobster. But if you're talking ethnic regions of food, my favorite is Italian, and it's not even close.
• Number - When I was younger, my favorite number was 26. Later on, I learned that this coincided with the jersey number my favorite baseball player growing up, Wade Boggs. I then went to the number 7 for a while, before settling on 43. My second favorite number is 17. If I create myself as a linebacker in Madden, I usually go with 51. Still, 43 is my favorite number. Oddly enough (pun completely intended) I have discovered that all numbers I have an afinity for are odd numbers. I think odd numbers are more asthetically pleasing that even numbers. I don't know how ore why that makes sense, but it's the reality of the situation.
• Movie - For the longest time, this was The Shawshank Redemption. Though I do still love that movie, my favorite movie slot was overtaken by The Dark Knight.
• Book - The Bible
• Book not named the Bible - The Lord of the Rings. I like all three books of the trilogy. I am looking to read them again soon. The Lord of the Rings is also my favorite movie trilogy and if considered one movie unit, it would be my favorite movie. Even now, this comes close to The Dark Knight.
• TV Show - Smallville. I love the story of Superman. And I love the show Smallville.
• Author - J.R.R. Tolkien. The guys was a genious.
• Spectator Sport - Football on TV and hockey in person, though I've never been to a Bruins game.
• Athlete - Milan Lucic.
• Famous person I've met - Ray Bourque.
• Restaurant - Red Robin
• Snack - Cheese of any kind

I think you get the point. These are a few of my favorite things. How about you? Do you have any favorites?

i'm running out of bookmarks!

I used to hate reading! My mother used to make me sit and listen to her read a book for school when I refused to read it myself. I would barely pay attention if at all. I was always annoyed at the idea that reading was necessary for me to get good grades in school. There were a couple of occasions when I was pleasantly surprised and actually enjoyed reading a book. The best example of this was The Outsiders. There were a couple other books I ended up enjoying, but that was clearly my favorite.

When I started college, I was shocked and annoyed to learn that practically all I had to do was read. Thousands of pages worth of books I had no desire to read. Again, there were a couple of exceptions like Israel and the Nations. But for the most part, I mechanically worked my way through books, hardly ever retaining the information from them. I would get through chapters before I realized I had no clue what I had been reading. I never went back.

As an adult, however, I have discovered that I actually love reading...it's just that I enjoy reading books I want to read and not books I have to read. So, since college (actually, during my senior year) I started reading books I liked. I read The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, true crime books, history books, and quite a few suspense novels (almost all of Harlan Coben's) among others that I've read. All this is to say that I actually do enjoy reading these days. But I have developed a problem that I need some help with: I am running out of bookmarks.

You see, my real problem is that I start many books, find my way through over 75% of them, put them down and then forget about them. Then, instead of picking the book back up, I start a new book. As a result, I have numerous books with bookmarks deep inside sitting on my book shelf. My problem is not that I don't find the books interesting. I put books down far before I make it 75% through if I don't enjoy them. My problem is that I refuse to restart a book, but don't always remember everything I had read before.

I mean, let's face it. Many of us can sit and say how much we enjoyed a book without remembering all of the specifics of it years down the road. I know I enjoyed those books and I know I could probably figure out what happened to the point I left off at, but I guess I figure it's more work than it's worth sometime.

One of my 2011 resolutions is to read at least one book each month. My question is whether or not I should grab all of my unfinished books and finish them before I grab a new one or just let them go or start them over again. If I don't make a decision, I'll have to make or purchase more bookmarks...

I cannot be the only one with this issue. Thanks in advance for any advice/tips.

are you ready for some football?

It's the most wonderful time of the year

With team jersey's selling

And everyone yelling, "The playoffs are here"

It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the great-greatest postseason of all

Tackles for greetings with hard, intense meetings

When they play football

It's the great-greatest postseason of all

There'll be receivers boasting

And running backs coasting

As they find their way to the endzone

There'll be dramatic stories

And tales of the glories of

Super Bowls long long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be quarterbacks throwing

And legends' lore growing

When the playoffs are here

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be receivers boasting

And runnning backs coasting

As they find their way to the endzone

There'll be dramatic stories

And tales of the glories of

Super Bowls long long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year

The Colts and Peyton Manning

Won't be the last standing

The Pats will be there

It's the most wonderful time

It's the most wonderful time

It's the most wonderful time

It's the most wonderful time of the year

This is my favorite time of year in the sports' calendar. It beats out a close-second March Madness. Today is the kickoff of the NFL playoffs. The NFL playoffs is leaps and bounds ahead of it's college football counterpart- the Bowl Championship Series (BCS). The BCS has plenty of critics, including me, which I'll get to in a moment. But before I do, let me say that for all my issues with the current BCS system in college football, I still watch the major bowl games (not the foolish, money-driven named bowls featuring two 6-6 teams) and I'm typically entertained by them. I was on the edge of my seat rooting for TCU in this year's Rose Bowl. That brings up another issue that I'll address in a bit. Though, I'm entertained, I still come up feeling a little empty after the BCS is concluded. Not with the NFL playoffs though. They leave me feeling satisfied (except in 2007). That is why I love this time of year. It's time for the NFL playoffs, baby!

Issues that I promised to address:

1. The BCS has ruined college football for me. The BCS ranks teams based on two independent polls (Coach's Poll and AP Poll) and five computer rankings. The rankings take into account things like a team's record and strength of schedule. If I remember correctly, they've eliminated the margin of victory aspect, which was absurd to have ever included. That being said, it's an incredibly imperfect system. The two independent polls begin with a preseason ranking. So a team gets credit for pundits thinking that they should get credit...what?! Are you kidding?! Anyway, the two teams that the BCS decides are the best get to play for the championship. All other teams...out of luck. This is why college football needs a playoff system. There's a reason the Super Bowl is the most-watched sporting event each year. To show how stupid the BCS system is, let's look at how things would shape up if the NFL used it this year:

• The Super Bowl would already be arranged. The New England Patriots would be playing the Atlanta Falcons. As a Patriots' fan, I would love to see this matchup. But I'm not that big of a homer. In each of their 3 Super Bowl wins, I've enjoyed watching them overcome adversity and beating quality teams, proving they were the best in that given year. If the NFL used the BCS system, the Patriots would have only been eligible for 2 of their 3 Super Bowl wins, not to mention the numerous other teams that would have been ripped off.
• The Seahawks would not qualify. For all that's been said about a 7-9 team making the playoffs, I am of the theory that you cannot fault a team for what division they play in. The league goes through cycles. The AFC East hasn't always been so tough as it is now (with 2 legitimate playoff teams). I do, however, think that the Seahawks shouldn't have home field advantage...oh well.
• All other playoff teams would be randomly matched up against each other in meaningless games. Their chances at the Super Bowl would be non-existent. Assuming that teams all play to win the championship, these teams would have nothing left to play for.

2. I was so excited to watch TCU beat Wisconsin in this year's Rose Bowl. I always root for the underdog (unless my team is the favorite or a team I hate is the underdog, so maybe not always) and who's more of an underdog than a non-automatic qualifier? TCU had to fight hard to make it to the Rose Bowl. They had to finish the season with a perfect record to be considered. Wisconsin just needed to win their conference, regardless their record. This was that typical David vs. Goliath story. So, what's my issue? Well, moving forward, TCU will be joining the Big East Conference (under which definition of east does Texas fall under?) - a conference possessing an automatic qualifier (thus the reason for UConn being allowed to get trounced on national TV). I think this is counter-productive to what TCU accomplished. Basically if there ever arises a David who beats Goliath in college football, they belittle it by making the David a Goliath. At least I'll always remember that TCU was not in a fair fight and won! Also, I still think they deserve a shot at the National Championship.

Back to the NFL playoffs though, I'm looking forward to a great postseason. There are compelling story lines and a number of teams good enough to win it all (including all wild card teams). That's why I'm looking forward to a great 2011 NFL playoffs! I'm sure I'll be entertained, especially if the Pats win it all!!!

creature of habit

Hi, my name is Mike Brown and I am a creature of habit. There, I've said it. After all, they say the first step to overcoming a problem is to admit that you have one. I've known this character trait about myself for quite some time, but have never realized how wide a scope my habits cover. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I have always simply rationalized it by claiming I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I have never been clinically diagnosed with OCD but claiming that it is responsible for faulty character traits is easier than owning up to and working to change them. Let me give some examples of my habitual nature as well as the effort I'm making to change it.

I'll begin with some common areas that I contest most people are habitual in:

Food

Let's face it, most people develop eating habits from their adolescent years. We all have our likes/dislikes. Many kids like to eat the same thing all the time. For example, I could have lived off hot dogs as a kid. Many people get accustomed to eating schedules. And when I bring up eating schedules, I'm not simply talking about the times of day we choose to eat (though most people do have breakfast, lunch and dinner around similar time frames). I'm talking about what we eat over the course of the week. For example, we almost always ate grilled cheese sandwiches on Sunday nights in my family. And we almost always had chicken cooked in some manner for Sunday lunch. In part, I blame the schools for this one. We all knew that pizza day (remember those small white boxed pizzas? I loved those) was Friday (or was it Thursday...regardless, it was a planned day of every week). It was in these formative years we were taught to get into a specific routine. Now, when Polly and I set up our shopping list we do it based on a similar system. Check it out:

• Monday - Soup & sandwiches
• Tuesday - Red meat night (a meal using beef, venison or some other red meat as the protein)
• Wednesday - Pizza night (usually frozen, but sometimes homemade...never delivery)
• Thursday - White meat night (a meal using chicken, turkey or some other white meat as the protein)
• Friday - Pasta night (a meal with pasta as the carbohydrate)
• Saturday - Leftovers
• Sunday - Leftovers

The actual meal itself varies, but the base is systematic. The habitualness of my daily eating up until and after dinner for Monday-Friday is even worse. Here's a glimpse:

• 6:45-7:00 - Breakfast: usually either eggs over toast or waffles with peanut butter with a half glass of orange juice
• 8:00 - Fiber One bar
• 9:00-9:30 - Banana
• 10:30-11:00 - String cheese
• 12:00 - Lunch: sandwich (either PB&J or turkey and cheese) and chips (usually pretzels)
• 1:30-2:00 - Yogurt
• 3:00-3:30 - Fruit (usually apple or orange or both)
• After dinner - Dessert: typically ice cream or cookies
• After dinner - Evening snack: popcorn and/or cottage cheese

The weekend allows for some variation to how often I eat, but very little variation to what I eat. The only exception to this is that I often eat a larger breakfast on Saturday and occasionally on Sunday. This usually includes either french toast or a full breakfast plate (eggs, bacon and home fries). This also means that our grocery list is typically similar as well.


And that's not even bringing up my habitual ways when I eat out. There are two aspects worth discussing relating to restaurants. Firstly, my being a creature of habit means that when I go out to eat, I typically go to the same restaurants. I don't step outside the box too often. I like Red Robin, Ruby Tuesdays, Fireflys and Chili's. It's not that I never go elsewhere, but I usually don't. Secondly, when I go to a restaurant I almost always buy the same thing. For example, it's a near guarantee that I'll be eating the Bleu Ribbon Burger at Red Robin. Occasionally, I order something else, but not often. I will spare you the details of my favorite meal at each of my favorite restaurants, but you get the point.

Cars

You can talk to many people who will swear to a specific make and/or model of a car. What's funny is that they're all different. One person legitimately swears to a Toyota while another legitimately swears to a Ford. This is an area that I was habitual in for quite some time. However, this is also an area where I broke a habit only to form a new one. I grew up around American cars. My dad swore by them. Here are the family cars I remember:

• AMC Matador (station wagon)
• Ford Aerostar
• Ford Thunderbird
• Chevy Nova (my sister's car)
• Chevy Corsica (my sister's car which she later sold to my dad which he later gave to me)
• Pontiac Grand Am (my sister's car which she later sold to my brother before it caught fire)
• Chevy (my brother's pickup)
• Lexus (my dad's only non-American car)
• Mercury Grand Marquis (my dad went back to American after a bad experience with the foreign Lexus)

So, when it came time for me to buy a car for the first time, what did I buy? American. I bought a Ford Taurus. There are two joking acronyms I've heard for Ford: Found On Roadside Dead and Fix Or Repair Daily. I found either to be accurate. This is when I broke the habit and vowed to never buy American again. Time will tell on that one, but for now, I drive a Subaru Legacy and my wife drives a Toyota Camry (her first two cars that died young were a Ford Escort and Saturn...American). I love my Subaru and intend to drive one for the rest of my life!

Miscellaneous

There are so many other areas of life that are common areas in which many people have habitual tendencies. People tend to stick with the same personal hygiene products and other such items. People tend to wear certain types of clothes or outfits on certain occasions. People tend to have routines when getting ready in the morning. People tend to give the same or similar gifts at any weddings or birthdays they attend. People are creatures of habit in many common areas of life.

The moment that may have altered my habitual nature:


I have been using Gillette shaving products since I started shaving. I've gone through the Mach 3, the Fusion and the Fusion Power. So, it occurred to me the other day that it's time for me to upgrade to the Proglide. However, we're in our budget crunch so I found myself contemplating downgrading in price instead. For this reason, I made a big switch and bought a cheaper Schick Quatro Titanium. I was very nervous to try a new razor. After my first shave, I was so mad...that I hadn't changed sooner. I love my new Quatro. I think it gives a better shave than any of my Gillette razors ever have. So, I was inspired. I thought about the High Endurance from Old Spice deodorant I've been using for years. Could there be something better? I bought Degree to try when I finish off my last couple sticks. I'll let you know how that goes. I felt so free to break the habit. Baby steps I guess. Maybe they will translate into me having a new attitude in the aforementioned common areas and maybe they can help me break my OCD tendencies in the following uncommon areas.

Uncommon/less common areas that show my habitual nature/OCD tendencies:

I think it may be easier for me to simply list some of my odd habits/compulsions:

• Equilibrium - I cannot turn around completely without turning myself back around the other way. It's like I'm on a string and winding around and I don't like the string to be twisted around itself. I recognized myself doing this when I was still in grade school. No matter how much I tell myself it doesn't matter, I will always turn myself back around. I was doing the "Hokey Pokey" with my nephew on Christmas Day. Every time I turned around, I turned back around to unwind myself.
• The Skin Squeeze - My siblings always made fun of me for this. My wife hates when I do it. I cannot control myself. I grab the skin on my neck under my fingernails. This is easier to demonstrate than explain in words. And it's impossible for me to try and explain why I do it...I have no clue why I ever started, but I've done it for so long.
• Facing the Same Way - Whether it's my clothes in my closet (which are arranged by type--sweaters, button ups, polos, etc.) or money in my wallet, I always need things facing the same direction.
• Everything Flush - I hate when drawers or doors are open and things are not flush with one another. A co-worker pointed out to me one day that I closed the drawers in the kitchen of our building's cafeteria while I was talking to her. I didn't even realize it.
• Same Order - I open programs on my computer in the same order every time. If something's out of order for any reason, I will close and reopen everything to fix it. My old boss used to intentionally change things when I wasn't looking as a joke. I never laughed. I always fixed the order.

Let's be honest here...I could list things all day. But I think you get the point. I am a creature of habit. And after reading my quick list of uncommon habits, I am re-convinced that I am OCD. I hope that changing my razor is a good sign of positive changes to come.

tip of the week: eft

As many of you know, I've been tightening my budget lately. I've been cutting unnecessary costs as well as working to reducing ones I cannot cut.

As I was looking at my auto insurance last week, it occurred to me that my past payments are always $6 higher than they were when they were scheduled. I have meant to check on that for some time, but with my number crunching at its peak, I finally made a phone call. I called my agent and asked if they knew what the deal was with the $6 increase when I pay my bill. It turns out it was a bill fee.

Before I move on to my discovery, let me speak on the whole bill fee thing momentarily. I just read an article on this practice last week, so it was fresh on my mind when I called my agent. Companies can actually charge a fee for billing you. I think this is ridiculously absurd. You are already paying for whatever service you're using, they shouldn't be able to charge you to pay for that service. What was even more annoying to me was that I pay that bill online so it's not even like they have to send me a paper bill (though they do). I think this practice should be illegal.

Anyway, most companies waive that fee if you sign up for EFT (Electronic Funds Transfer). The down-side with signing up for EFT is that you need to always make sure the money is in your account on the day the payment is scheduled. For me this is no issue, as I always schedule my payment for it's due date anyway.

After a few clicks of the mouse, I was all signed up for EFT and the $20/month savings that came with it (not sure why it came to $20/month...maybe they backdated it?).

Anyway, if you're looking to cut some unnecessary costs, I recommend you checking all the bills you pay and making sure there aren't bill fees attached. If so, you might consider signing up for EFT.

like a kid at christmas

My wife and I are 39 weeks pregnant today. This means we're one week from the baby's due date. As I wait in anticipation for the birth of my first child, I would like to compare it to the anticipation of Christmas. Translation: the nearer it gets the more heightened the anticipation and the increase of the impatience.

Why the comparison makes sense...

Let's face it, we don't think too much about Christmas for most of the year as kids. I mean, it comes up every now and again but for the most part, we don't stress it too much. But come Thanksgiving, all we can think about is Christmas. And each week until Christmas feels longer than the one before. And Christmas Eve feels like the longest day of the year. I still can't fully sleep on Christmas Eve. Maybe I'm still a kid at heart, but I just get so excited for Christmas morning to come. And it has nothing to do with presents either. I just love Christmas day!

Likewise, the first 36 weeks of pregnancy seemed to fly by. Even though things are crawling now, each week has felt a little longer as we near the due date. I am full of anticipation. I simply cannot wait to meet my daughter!

Where the comparison fails...

What I've been discovering though, is that it's not a perfect comparison due to one major difference: the nature of the anticipated date. What do I mean? Well, Christmas is a fixed day. You know that Christmas comes every December 25th. On December 24th, you know that you only have one more day to go. With pregnancy, the due date is not fixed. You could have the baby earlier or later than the anticipated due date. And I haven't decided yet if this makes things better or worse.

On the one hand, I feel like not knowing makes the weeks preceding less anxious as you aren't 100% certain what day you're waiting for.

On the other hand, you start feeling like it could be any day which makes every day feel so long.

I would assume too that it's probably better for those who deliver sooner than the deadline and worse for those who deliver after.

Regardless of the imperfection, one thing remains great for the sake of the analogy: the anticipation. I'm like a little kid on Christmas, waiting for my gift to arrive!

quality or quantity?

It is no secret that Polly and I live on a fixed budget. Most people who hate debt do. So when Christmas and birthdays and such come along and people bless us with money and gift cards, we get a little excited. Aside from our small budgeted amount of fun money, this is the only opportunity we have to buy things we want. As much as we both love this, it has become clear to me that our spending philosophies are completely different.

Polly is the ultimate quantity person. When she gets money to freely spend, she saves it and uses it on a lot of little things she wants. She squeezes as much out of that money as she possibly can. Typically, she looks for good deals on clothes, scarves, shoes, etc. Regardless what she's buying, she wants bang for the buck. She doesn't feel the need to spend it all at once or right away.

I am the complete opposite. I go for the quality of the product. When I get a big chunk of spending money, I ask myself this simple question: "What item have I been wanting that I cannot otherwise rationalize spending money on. It's not a question of need, but a question of want. That being said, I do buy practical things I want. The first day I had a chance to make a purchase, I bought myself a GPS watch. As a runner, I've been wanting a GPS watch for some time. The one I bought was on sale (I'm no fool) and allows for me to track my speed, distance, heart rate, elevation, etc. It connects to software on the computer and graphs my runs for me. What runner wouldn't want one? That being said, I'm the one sitting with only like $35 of my Christmas money left. But at least I got something I couldn't normally get. I can use my small weekly fun money budget for the smaller things in life.

How about you? Are you the type that would rather buy a big item you want and can't otherwise buy or are you the type to stretch that money on a lot of little things?

why even ask the question?

Ok, so this is one of those quick posts that deals with one of my many pet peeves. This particular pet peeve is one that has bothered me for quite some time. I was reminded of it this past week thanks to a facebook status from my brother Jon.

Here was his situation: Jon was at work up in New Hampshire when someone stopped in looking for directions to a local ski mountain. Considering it was a ski mountain my brother has frequented (one I've been to myself) and that my brother lives in one of those towns where everyone knows where everything is and the quickest way to get there. Based on this knowledge my brother gave the gentleman directions without hesitation. Instead of simply saying thank you, the man responded by questioning the accuracy of my brother's directions. He said, "I thought the mountain was in the other direction..." My brother was just like, "If it makes you happy, go the way you think it is."

I mean, seriously?!?!?! I hate when people ask a question and then question its accuracy. If you're going to doubt the answer, why even ask the question? It's obnoxious.

Please eradicate this behavior from your repertoire if you find yourself doing it...thanks.

i'm going streaking

Being a sports fan, I'm inundated with streaks. The amount of streaks that are recorded is pretty ridiculous. Let me illustrate what I'm talking about. Within the last month, here are some streaks I've heard/read about while checking up on sports:

7: Consecutive games the New England Patriots have gone without turning the ball over. The old record was 4!

319: Passing attempts by Tom Brady withing throwing an interception. He just passed Bernie Kosar who had 308 for the Cleveland Browns.

297: Consecutive games Brett Favre started which ended a few weeks ago (thankfully).

25: Sidney Crosby just had this streak snapped last week. It was the number of consecutive games he had tallied a point. The record for this streak is 51 set by Wayne Gretzky.

This isn't even taking into account how often you might hear about a team's winning streak. I like streaks, but I only like records...even if they're only personal. For example, my longest streak for winning Spades on my cell phone is 35. Why would I know that, because I like record streaks! Let me give you some of my favorites:

56: Consecutive games Joe Dimaggio had a hit in the 1941 season.

21: Consecutive games won by the New England Patriots.

2632: Consecutive games played by Cal Ripken Jr. That's why they call him the Iron Man.

8: Consecutive championships won the the Boston Celtics in the 60s.

88: Consecutive games won by John Wooden's UCLA Men's Basketball club in the early 70s. This became news again recently when the UConn Women's Basketball team surpassed the number, bringing on the debate between the sexes.

What do all these streaks have to do with anything anyway? Well, I'm going streaking. Let me explain.

My record for most consecutive days posting a blog is 78. Now, I'm not crazy enough to believe that number comes close to the actual record which is undoubtedly ongoing. But, as I said, I like personal streaks. My goal is to surpass my record of 78! I hope you enjoying reading my blogs along the way!

new year's resolutions: 2011 edition

On January 1, 2010, I rolled out a new set of new year's resolutions. I titled my resolutions "building a better me." They included things covering 5 important areas of my life: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Relational and Mental. I listed them in that order to create the acronym SPERM. This acronym was a reminder to me of my biggest resolution which was for my wife and me to get pregnant. If you haven't seen my wife's basketball belly lately, let me assure you that I completed that resolution. Some of the others were iffy. I won't go into detail of all I succeeded or failed on, but I will roll out my 2011 resolutions which will look to continue building these 5 major areas. Here are my 2011 resolutions:

Spiritual - I resolve to read my Bible and pray every single day this year. I've never gone a full year without missing a day for one reason or another, but I have it in mind to do it this year. And I mean serious prayer time with God, not a quick 10-second checklist prayer.

Physical - I resolve to better my 2010 5k time. I want to get my mile down at least to between 6:00-6:15 by year's end. If I do run a marathon this year, I would like to better my time by 20-30 minutes. I also resolve to exercise at least twice a week, though preferably more (especially during training).

Emotional - I resolve to continue my growth in not being sensitive over certain things. I resolve to be slower to anger and slower to speak.

Relational - I resolve to continue to improve my contact with friends and family this year.

Mental - I resolve to read at least one book per month. I also resolve to blog every day this year.

I can't wait until January 1, 2012 when I can tell everyone that I successfully accomplished each resolution.

How about you? Any resolutions this year? Challenge yourself. Set the bar high so you improve yourself even if you miss the bar.

Be safe and Happy New Year!