seis de mayo

Sure, everyone has heard of Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for May 5th), but I contend that Seis de Mayo is more worthy of celebration. Here are some reasons why:

1. Good day to be born - I was born on May 6, 1983. That's right, I continue my march toward 30 as I turn 28 years old today. I am undeniably in my late 20's. My wife will have a field day with this for sure. I, of course, am not the only person who claims May 6 as a birthday. In fact, I think I fill out the standard "Types of people it's cool to share a birthday with" Checklist pretty well. See for yourself*:

1. Random girl who's not really famous but has played a lead role in a movie and shares the exact same birthday as you...√ (Gabourey Sidibe, 1983 - Precious in "Precious")
2. Future NHL Hall of Fame goaltender with multiple Stanley Cup titles to his name...√ (Martin Brodeur, 1972 - New Jersey Devils)
3. Famous heart-throb TV actor turned famous heart-throb movie star...√ (George Clooney, 1961 - Dr. Doug Ross, "ER"; Danny Ocean, "Ocean's Eleven")
4. Television host of multiple shows who's always creeping on women though not nearly as badly as Pat Sajak...√ (Tom Bergeron, 1955 - America's Funniest Home Videos; Dancing with the Stars)
5. Former world leader...√ (Tony Blair, 1953 - Former Prime Minister of Great Britain)
6. Musician who likes that old time rock & roll and has a #1 album to his credit...√ (Bob Seger, 1945 - "Against the Wind" in 1980)
7. Hall of Fame Major League Baseball player who is mentioned among the greatest players in the history of the game...√ (Willie Mays, 1931 - New York Giants; often referred to as the "Say Hey Kid")
8. Writer, director and actor in a movie consider among the greatest of all-time...√ (Orson Welles, 1915 - "Citizen Kane")
9. Famous British actor...√ (Stewart Granger, 1913 (King Solomon's Mines)
10. Italian actor acclaimed as one of the best during the silent film era...√ (Rudolph Valentino, 1895 - "The Sheik"; known as the "Latin Lover")
11. Author who wrote a well-known novel turned into popular film and stage productions...√ (Gaston Leroux, 1868 - The Phantom of the Opera)
12. Crazy nutcase who is credited as the father of modern Psychology...√ (Sigmund Freud, 1856  - Psychiatrist and founder of psychoanalysis)...hey, can't be proud of them all.
13. American explorer who likely made up a claim about being the first to reach a significant destination...√ (Robert E. Peary, 1856 - Geographic North Pole on April 6, 1909)
14. Leader of a major revolution...√ (Maximilien Robespierre, 1758 - French Revolution and Reign of Terror)

2. Some interesting historical events occurred on May 6th†:

1. 1312: Pope Clement V closes Council of Vienna.
2. 1626: Dutch colonist Paul Minuit buy Manhattan for $24 in trinkets.
3. 1835: The first issue of the New York Herald newspaper is published by James Bennett.
4. 1882: Chinese Exclusion Act - U.S. Congress ceases Chinese immigration.
5. 1898: Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public, coinciding with the Exposition Universelle (commemorating the 100 year anniversary of the French Revolution).
6. 1915: Babe Ruth hits his first major league homer for the Boston Red Sox baseball team in a game against the NY Yankees.
7. 1935: The New Deal's Works Progress Administration is instituted.
8. 1937: The dirigible Hindenburg explodes while landing in New Jersey after a transatlantic flight, killing 36 people.
9. 1942: In World War II, the Japanese take Corregidor in the Philippines.
10. 1954: Roger Bannister runs the first sub-4 minute mile.
11. 1987: PTL's Jim Bakker and Rick Dortch dismissed from Assemblies of God (significant to me as I am a credential holder within the Assemblies of God).
12. 1994: The Channel Tunnel , linking England and France, is inaugurated.
13. 1997: Michael Jackson and Bee Gees inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

There are other birthdays and events that fall on May 6, but I just thought I'd touch on some of the more interesting ones. When you consider the fact that there are only 366 days of the year on which all of the events in the history of the world could have occurred, it's no doubt that every date will have its share of interesting history. I still think May 6 is pretty cool.

Have you ever checked out significant events and birthdays on your birthday? Do you even care? I'd like to say that I don't, but this blog proves that I do.

__________________________________________________

Source Notes:

* Famous Birthdays compiled from famousbirthdays.com and worldalmanac.com

† List of historical events compiled from worldalmanac.com and brainyhistory.com

birds chirping vs birding pooing: a matter of persepective

I stepped outside Friday morning to warmer weather and the sound of birds chirping. This is the first time this year I have walked outside to such a beautiful sound. The chirping of the birds got me excited for the fast-approaching Spring.

I carried this joy with me to work. I was engaged in conversation with a co-worker when this sentiment came up. I commented on how beautiful it was outside. He agreed. I told him about how happy I was to hear birds chirping again. He had a completely different perspective from Friday morning.

When this gentleman went out to his car, he couldn't help but notice a white splatter on the windshield. He was annoyed by the birds being back because the reality of his windshield becoming a target for bird poo again.

So, you see, it was the same morning with two separate individuals noticing the return of birds. For one (me) it was a joyful reminder as the birds chirped while for the other (my co-worker) a frustrating reminder as the birds pooed on his car. Same morning...same birds...different emotion evoked. It's a matter of perspective.

Such is life.

major change

I was excited to get back into blogging at the turn of the year. I had in mind to keep "such is life." going for a long while. I have blog post ideas lined up and even some written. But with all that said, I am making a huge change.

Moving forward, I will be focusing my blogging efforts on a different blog. The address for my new blog will be the same as the current address for this one: http://pastormikebrown.blogspot.com and "such is life." has moved to this one: http://mikebrownsuchislife.

Here are answers to some questions some may have:

What's the purpose of the change? I have decided to focus my attention on more inspirational blogging vs. the random blogging I currently do. I might still add stuff on "such is life." (much less often), but the new blog will be my main one.

What should be expected? I will still blog a lot about Genevieve, but will look to make more effort to bringing more meaning and application to it. Aside from that, I will spend time reflecting things happening in my life, digging into the word of God, reviewing a good book, sharing poetry, etc.

Won't this limit the amount of people who read this blog? Maybe. I don't care. I'd rather do what I think is the right thing to do.

Why am I making this change? You'll have to read the first blog on the new http://pastormikebrown.blogspot.com to find out what caused me to make this decision.

I hope you will be able to follow the new blog and I hope you can get something out of it.

time for a little r & r

Rest and relaxation. Who doesn't love the sound of those two words?

Unfortunately, however, for most people those words have become synonymous with "vacation." It's as though vacation time is the only time we can afford to rest and relax. I mean, after all, the name of the game in non-vacation time is go, go, go! There's simply no time to rest and relax. This, however, is not a healthy approach.

Our bodies were designed to rest. And they were designed to rest because we need rest. This is a physiological fact. Simply put, we will wear ourselves down if we don't rest.

This concept is also supported biblically. In Genesis 2:1-3, we see that God created the world in six days and then rested on the seventh. In Exodus 20:8-11, we see God institute the practice of the Sabbath. According to this law (one of the 10 commandments), a man was to work six days a week and rest on the seventh. Rest was not optional for the Hebrews, it was mandatory.

We also see the importance of not overworking ourselves through Jethro (Moses' father-in-law)'s advice to Moses in Exodus 18. Moses was working day and night judging among the people. When Jethro heard this, "Moses' father-in-law said to him, 'What you are doing is not good. You and the people with you will certainly wear yourselves out, for the thing is too heavy for you. You are not able to do it alone.'" (Ex 18:17, 18 ESV)

My life can be so hectic and busy at times. If I'm not busy with one thing, then something else is sure to swallow up my time. It feels like I'm constantly on the go. There's always something else to be done. Rest can become an afterthought. But the more I push forward, the more I drain my body, mind and spirit.

It can be difficult to relax without feeling guilty, lazy or bored. But I think that's because our rest is not typically true rest. I know my relaxation usually includes TV, video games, computer time and the like. But that's not relaxing our mind, body or spirit at all.

I think true relaxation comes from spending time in the presence of our Creator.

This is why I will be enjoying my weekend at Youth Pastor/Youth Leader Retreat. Retreat is defined by Merriam-Webster's online dictionary as "3 : a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study or instruction under a director." This is a pretty good description of what I'll be doing. But even better than that is personal retreat.

For anyone reading this who is like me, do yourself a favor. Spend some time withdrawn from technology and media and everything else that keeps us from resting. I would encourage you to meditate on the things of the Lord. It is then that you will find true rest.

i went to a fight and a hockey game broke out

This is a classic Rodney Dangerfield joke. But, like most jokes, it was birthed out of a truth. Fighting has always been and continues to be a big part of hockey (though it's certainly not as big a part as it used to be).

I love hockey. It's my favorite sport to watch, hands down. I love it because of the physicality. I love the toughness and the fighting. My favorite player growing up was Cam Neely. He was both talented and physical. My favorite player currently is Milan Lucic. He is also talented (not as talented as Cam) and physical (he was lacking in his toughness in the beginning of the year, but has been turning it back up lately. The Bruins (Go B's!) have always been and are still an incredibly physical team. They do not back down from a fight. And I love the fighting.

I'm not alone in my love of hockey and love of fighting in hockey. In fact, there is a web site dedicated to tracking every fight in hockey (www.hockeyfights.com). I would be lying if I claimed that I never check out that site.

But the question has become, in this new age of concussion awareness, should fighting still have a place in hockey? Polly often asks me what the point of fighting is. I tell her it's important for tone-setting, momentum-swinging and accountability (if you want to play cheap, you will pay for it). I do not want to see fighting gone from the game. But, is this selfish of me? I mean, I'm not the one facing potential brain damage. Claiming it could cause brain damage might seem extreme, but Boston University Medical School just released some findings based on the study of the brain of Bob Probert, a former NHL enforcer who died at age 45. Researchers at Boston University said Thursday that Probert had the degenerative brain disease Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy.

So, now, I don't know what to think. I mean, on one hand, how can you ignore the recent medical data regarding the dangers of fighting? On the other hand, I love the fighting in hockey. It's a huge reason why I watch it. But is that as barbaric as watching NASCAR for the crashes? I'm so torn.

What do you think?

tip of the week: be grateful

"I've got nothing to wear!" How many times have you uttered this phrase as you sorted through a full closet?

"There's nothing in this house to eat!" How many times have you made this claim as you looked through full cupboards?

"Others have it so easy while I have it so hard?" How many times have you said this to yourself as you barely "squeak by" another week?

I know I've been guilty of each of these phrases (though not as often on the first one). What's worse is that we often don't think twice while making these statements. It's so easy for us to take things for granted.

But the reality is that compared to many others, we've got it so good. There are many people in this country and especially around the world who don't have proper or adequate clothing. There are many people in this country and around the world who don't know where their next meal is coming from (if it's coming at all). There are many people in this country and around the world who have it much harder than us. In fact, when they see it, they think we have it easy. Ironic, no?

How about these heart-breaking facts (taken from the book "Radical" by David Platt, a Christian book I highly recommend):

• Over 1 billion people live and die in desperate poverty. (p 108)
• Nearly 2 billion people live on less than $2/day...less than $2!!! (p 108)
• More than 26,000 children will die today due to starvation and preventable diseases (p 108)
• "If you and I have running water, shelter over our heads, clothes to wear, food to eat, and some means of transportation (even if it's public transportation), then we are in the top 15 percent of the world's people for wealth." (p 115)

I didn't even realize how self-centered and selfish I had become. I never realized how ungrateful I can be. But any time I have complained about my "lack" of anything has been a disservice to those who are far worse off than I am.

This goes beyond the poor though too. Last week, I was complaining to Polly about how I hadn't seen Genevieve smile yet as I always come home during her fussier times. I wasn't mad at Genevieve (how could I be?) but I felt like I was missing out a little bit. Then it hit me. How could I be so ignorant. There are plenty of people who would give anything to have a baby. There are many others who would give anything to have their baby healthy. I was taking that for granted. I felt so disrespectful toward those people with my mindset. I needed to repent and change that mindset.

You see, I think it can be easy for us to take things for granted. I think it can be easy for us to be ungrateful...and we don't even always know we are. So that's my tip for this week: be grateful. Take time to appreciate the things you do have instead of focusing on what you don't.

This isn't an easy thing to hear. It wasn't for me. But that doesn't make it any less true. Whatever you do today, be grateful! Be grateful to God who gives us all that we have. Be grateful to your parents, spouse, children or any others who are a blessing to your life. Be grateful.

new sheriff in town

I wanted to stay at the restaurant longer so I could talk with old friends. She wanted to go home.
I wanted to watch TV sitting down on the couch. She wanted me to stand up.
I wanted to eat dinner. She wanted to be bounced.

The conclusion to these three situations: We went home, I stood up and I waited to eat while I bounced her.

There is no doubt about who the boss is in the Brown household these days. What Genevieve wants, Genevieve gets. And why shouldn't she? She's 5 1/2 weeks old and cannot do anything on her own. Polly and I were the ones who decided to have a baby. And we understood that putting our needs secondary to our child's needs would be one of the results. So we're not complaining at all.

Even though my life is impacted, I would be ignorant to think that Polly and I have been impacted equally. In fact, when people ask me how I'm doing with the adjustment of having a baby to look after, I often joke about how it's been easy on me and that Polly's the one they should talk to.

I mean, let's break it down: I sleep all night, go to work, come home, eat dinner, care for the baby, hand her off to Polly whenever she's hungry, help put her to bed and relax on my own before I go to bed again. Polly, on the other hand, wakes up a couple of times of night (thankfully Genevieve is a good sleeper) and then spends almost all day with the baby with no real reprieve. So, yes, my life has been affected since Genevieve was born. But Polly's life has been invaded.

Think about it. Even if we set aside the fact that Genevieve took over Polly's body for nearly 42 weeks, Polly's life has still be drastically altered. Here are a few examples:

1. Polly's Job

Polly went from being a "full-time" teacher, putting in 40 hours a week, to being a FULL-TIME mom, putting in 168 hours a week. Aside from working more hours, she doesn't get an un-interrupted lunch break, sick time, vacation time or any of those other benefits (though the benefit of raising our child far outweighs those benefits anyway, as she herself would tell you) while making 100% less for her salary.

2. Polly's Diet

Polly is more restricted as a nursing mom than she was as a pregnant woman. Polly cannot eat anything high in fiber, anything spicy, anything acidic (even tomato sauce) or anything with dairy. The dairy is a tough pill for Polly to swallow because ice cream remains her favorite food. I told her I will give up dairy with her (for the most part) once our current dairy products are gone. We tried a dairy-free ice cream the other day. One word: yuck. Polly also loves cereal. She now eats it with soy milk. She doesn't mind it so much in the cereal, but she cannot drink a glass of it. (For some reason this reminded me of when Forestdale Elementary School began serving flavored milks. I tried the grape one. Disgusting.)

3. Polly's Routine

Polly is an incredibly routine-oriented person. This does not necessarily go hand-in-hand with a newborn baby. Genevieve decides when mommy can eat, sleep, take a shower, etc.

These are only three examples of the many ways Genevieve has impacted Polly's life. And after all this, Polly says she feels bad when I take the baby when I get home from work because I worked all day. What? Compared to what Polly's doing all day, I have it easy.

I will tell you one thing. After seeing what Polly has gone through already, I have a new-found appreciation for mothers everywhere. Most of all, I have a great respect and appreciation for the mother of my baby girl. I have always thought Polly was amazing. I never knew that I could think it any more than I already did. Then she became a mom. She's so incredibly amazing. I am so blessed.

So, you see, even though our lives have changed (and Polly's significantly more), one look at Genevieve reminds us why we would never trade it for a second.

There's a new sheriff in town. And Polly and I wouldn't have it any other way.

photos don't lie

It's easy for us to maintain ignorance when it comes to our changing appearance. Whether it's gaining weight, losing weight, having facial hair gone wrong, etc., it's easy for us to not realize how dramatically we may be changing. I first realized how true this is in 2007 when I saw a picture of myself from a wedding shower. I first posted this picture on my blog a couple years ago, but let me remind you how bad things had gotten for me:

215-220 lbs of pure goo.

When I first saw that picture, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was clueless to how much weight I had put on. I think this is made obvious by the fact that I was clearly still wearing my old clothes. This is not one of my favorite pictures, but it serves as a constant reminder to me.

I was recently reminded of the truth of the non-lying nature of photos thanks to my daughter. Polly and I have come to realize what people have told us all along: babies change quickly. They grow so fast! To illustrate my point, here is a side by side shot of Genevieve wearing the same outfit at 4 days and then again at 4 weeks.

Hopefully this picture clears your mind of the previous one.

Look at how much better she fills out the outfit 3 1/2 weeks after the first picture was taken. Her head fits properly in the hood in the second picture. If you look closely at the first picture, you'll notice that her arms don't come close to filling out the sleeves, while the fit appropriately in the second.

It's crazy how much Genevieve has already grown and changed. On the one hand, I love it! But on the other hand, I feel like she's already growing up to fast.

Have you changed much in recent years? Compare a recent photo of you with one from a couple years ago. You might be surprised (for the good or bad).

cheese!

Just when you think a baby can't get any cuter, they learn to do this:

That's right...Genevieve is smiling now. She started doing this one week ago today. Due to her colicky nature in the evenings, she only smiles during the morning time. Unfortunately for me, that's when I work. Because of this, I didn't get to see her smile in person until Saturday. But I'll tell you this: it was worth the wait! My heart melted.

What's cute, too, is that her smiling nature is developing. At first, she would only smile in reaction to being smiled at. But on Saturday she was swinging in her swing, looking out the window (still her favorite thing to do) and started smiling ear to ear. So cute. It was completely unprovoked.

Her smiling makes me excited for what will come next (aside from her already developing a fake cry when she wants attention...it's so overtly fake, but also so adorable). She giggled in her sleep the other night. I can't wait until she giggles intentionally, while awake!

No matter what comes next though, I can guarantee one thing: my heart will melt!

fill in the blanks

Have you ever written a paper, re-read it to make sure there were no mistakes, maybe even re-reading it again just to be certain, only to have it come back with red pen marks indicating mistakes? I know I have. In fact, I still do that when I write things. I go back and re-read blogs which I have probably already read multiple times after writing them only to discover silly spelling and grammatical mistakes. I wrote an incident report for work once that was so good it was used as an illustration at our annual meeting. Then, of course, a friend and co-worker pointed out that I had misspelled my own name. I re-checked it numerous times. How did I miss it? I blame the amazing ability of our minds.

We can misspell words and forget letters and add extra words, but often times our minds still read the sentence the way it was intended.

One such common mistake is when we write the same word twice. The red squiggly lines in MS finds this error quickly, but I still do this all the the time. Did you catch it? Did you notice the second the in that sentence? If not, read it again. Most people's minds probably eliminated the second occurrence of that word.

Another common mistake is using the wrong spelling of a word that sounds like another word but is spelled differently (homophones). Let's face it, we might not always choose the write spelling, but most people's mind simply replaces it with the correct word. Did you catch that one? That might have been easier. If you missed it, I wrote "write" instead of "right." Whether or not you noticed it, I bet you understood the sentence as I intended it.

The results of a study dealing with how our mind reads things became a popular email a few years ago. In case you haven't seen it, or to simply refresh your memory, here is the content of that email:

I cnduo't bvleiee taht I culod aulaclty uesdtannrd waht I was rdnaieg. Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Aaznmig, huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghhuot slelinpg was ipmorantt! See if yuor fdreins can raed tihs too.

You have to admit, the mind is a pretty amazing thing!

egocentric

Have you ever met someone who defines this word? Someone who is so arrogant and ego-driven that everything comes back to them? In an egocentric individual's mind, they are the center of all things. I've personally been accused of being arrogant more than once in my life. And I wouldn't doubt if the word egocentric was ever used. But I've worked a lot on that character flaw over the past few years. Hopefully, I'm getting better.

The reason this came to mind was in regard to athletes. Many athletes (I have no way to quantify how many, but it is certainly not all) tend to be egocentric. For some reason, they tend to think the world revolves around them. They fight to hold records, bring conversations back to them and seek the spotlight as often as they can.

No current athlete may be more guilty of this than Brett Favre. Favre fights hard to be in the spotlight. Finally, most football fans see him for what he is, an egocentric maniac. I will not discuss this further as that is what he would want.

How about the NBA? There seems to be a lot of this happening there. Kobe Bryant has been accused of this on more than one occasion. The Lakers do best when he shares the ball. When asked on February 10th about Ray Allen's record for 3 pt shots made, Kobe brought it back to himself. His quote was something along the lines of "I'm amazed at how long we've been in this league together. It's awesome how we have maintained our play at a high level." The question was about Ray Allen and not about Ray Allen and Kobe Bryant. It irked me that he made it about himself.

ARod anyone? He leaked a big contract announcement during the World Series.

It's been said that Dan Marino fought the Dolphins' management on their attempts to bring in legitimate running backs because it would limit his passes.

These athletes are like 3 year olds who realize they did something funny, so they repeat it a million times until it drives you insane.

My point is not to judge or point fingers here. I find it intriguing how many athletes are ego-driven. Some say it's the egotism that makes players great, but I think there must be some sort of a distinction. What these players listed sans Bryant seem to have in common is that they were talented in their respected sport but not good team guys and thus not on many championship teams. Favre won 1 Super Bowl before he got out of control. ARod won a World Series once he was no longer the centerpiece of the offense. Dan Marino never won anything.

Kobe Bryant has won 5 NBA Championships. Interestingly enough, another egocentric NBA player, Michael Jordan, won 6. Maybe the NBA is the one league where ego is an advantage.

Well, in the "real world" nobody wants to be in a conversation with ego-driven people. I hope I don't fit that description any more.

my new enemy

Traffic lights.

To be fair, I've never been too fond of them. They have caused me to be late to work (my leaving the house late has never had anything to do with it), injected stress into an otherwise short drive (my impatience has never had anything to do with it) and affected my gas mileage. One of my favorite aspects of living in a more rural area is the fact that we rarely have to deal with them (at least a lot less often than when I lived in a more urban area). But, I have also always understood their importance, need and ways of benefiting me (I'd still be stuck on some small roads trying to turn onto a major road if not for the benefit of a traffic light. Because of this understanding, traffic lights and I have had a neutral relationship over the years...that is, until now.

As I mentioned, I live in a rural town. I also work in a rural town. I encounter 4 traffic lights going to work and 2 returning home. And 1 of those lights I turn right at anyway. But this past Monday I had to step out of my rural comfort zone. Polly, Genevieve and I went to a fundraiser for a childhood friend's father (he became paralyzed after receiving his flu shot...unreal) being held at Dockside in Malden (the city where I grew up). My parents came along as well.

About an hour into dinner, Genevieve suddenly became very fussy (unfortunately, Polly may have to adjust her diet a little bit). She was not having a good time of it. Polly and I tried our best to settle her down. We finally asked for the check and took off (the only thing we had yet to do was eat dessert, so she probably did us a favor).

We went back to my parents to try to feed her one more time before the drive home (about 1 1/4 hours). Genevieve was still incredibly fussy. The only leverage we had left was that we would be in the car soon. And she loves the car. She knocks out pretty quickly. She likes to be moving. The car is a great solution to satisfy this desire.

When we finally reached the highway, she quickly knocked out and didn't fuss the rest of the way (even after she woke up). The problem was getting to the highway. While still driving through the city, she would settle down just in time for another traffic light. Every time we reached a red light and stopped, she started fussing again. There were about a dozen lights. And some of them were long. Polly had to sing to her at red lights to help her relax a little.

So, it's official. Traffic lights and I are enemies!

tip of the week: count your calories...and your cash

This week's tip is simple. It is also very important for those who are looking to lose or maintain weight (while also looking to save a little cash). The tip: count your calories.

This principle is basic Weight Loss 101. You can read all the weight loss books ever written and buy all the DVD's you want, but all good weight loss programs begin with this foundational principle: calories in, calories out. The percentage of your food that should be carbs, protein, fiber, fat, sat. fat, etc. is relevant to your overall health and should not be neglected. But when talking strictly about losing weight, they don't hold too much relevance. There is some importance to how often you eat (food activates your metabolism, so eating--the right things--early and often helps you metabolize food and thus lose weight more efficiently). There is some importance to when you eat (your metabolism is slowest while you're sleeping, so eating before bed should be avoided). Although there is some importance to those and other issues, they're not the most important. The most important element to weight loss regards calories.

Here are the two most important questions when looking to lose weight:

1. How many calories are you taking in?
2. How many calories are you using?

That seems too easy to be true, right? I mean, weight loss can't be that easy, right? Well it is. If you net positive calories (take in more than you use), they are stored. They eventually turn to fat. 3500 calories = 1 lb. For every 3500 extra calories you take in, you will gain 1 lb. That's pretty basic, simple math.

When people ask me about weight loss (I lost 45 lbs in less than 1 year), this is the first thing I tell them. There are calorie calculators on line that can take your stats and give you a general idea of how many calories you need to take in based on your activity level. Although there is no perfect solution as each individual is different, it should give you a pretty good idea. You might have to adjust it as you go along to better fit your specific needs.

Knowing how many calories you need is a good start, but it's not enough in and of itself. Next, you need to count your calories. I'm not recommending that you necessarily do this every day (although it might help some people) but in the beginning. Start by figuring out how many calories you're currently taking in. You might be surprised. Calories can add up fast. There are websites dedicated to helping you count your calories and even track it. I used www.dailyplate.com during my weight loss.

Keep in mind that it's just as important to eat enough calories in a given day as it is not to eat too many. You need calories to burn calories. It's a weird principle, but it's true. Be careful never to deprive yourself of a proper amount of calories. This is another reason I recommend the use of a calorie calculator. If you ever have a doubt, seek council from your medical provider.

The cool benefit of counting calories is that it helps you to save some money. How? Think about it: Eating less cost less. Instead of eating 2 portions today, you can stretch it into eating 1 portion twice. If you consume less food, you will spend less on food. It's simple math.

Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

To all of you who are trying to lose weight: Good luck!

holidays commercialized

I had a quick, easy drive to work on Monday. Why? Because it was President's Day. I wonder how many people who had the day off from work (not me) actually took some of that time to honor this nation's presidents. My guess: not many. President's Day seems to be an excuse to have a day off of work. When I think of President's Day, I instantly think of car companies promising big savings.

The only "holiday" (oops, did I put quotes on that...my bad) that might be more pointless is Labor Day. That was instated as a national holiday by Grover Cleveland in response to the death of some workers at Boston's Haymarket at the hands of the US Military & US Marshals during a strike. It was done to appease the labor unions. Only in America would you see a holiday celebrating labor by taking the day off. Labor Day is also known to be a good car-buying day (especially as retailers are looking to unload that year's model to make way for the next).

There are other insignificant holidays, significant ones that don't receive the respect they deserve (Memorial Day) and significant ones that do. Regardless of which category a holiday may fall into, they've all been commercialized. Much like President's Day and Labor Day car deals, each holiday has a lot of revenue tied into them.

Although I could undoubtedly spend hours covering all the facts and stats from each holiday, for time's sake I will focus on three discussion points: greeting cards in general, Valentine's Day and Black Friday weekend (notorious shopping weekend in anticipation of Christmas). I think that simply focusing on these three should be sufficient enough to make my point.

Greeting Cards (General) (source: Greeting Card Association)

• Americans purchase 7 billion greeting cards every year (retail sales estimated at $7.5 billion)
• The average person receives more than 20 greeting cards in a year (about 1/3 are birthday)
• Sales are split approximately 50-50 between Seasonal and Everyday cards
• Most popular Seasonal cards are Christmas and holiday (more than 60% or 2 billion last year)
• After Christmas/holiday cards, the most popular Seasonal cards in order are Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and Graduation cards.
• (Also interesting but irrelevant to this discussion is that roughly 80% of greeting cards are purchased by women)

Valentine's Day (source: theromantic.com; their information is sourced on their website)

Roses/Flowers

• 110 million roses, the majority red, will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period
• Valentine's Day is the big time of year for red roses; Mother's Day meas more pastel roses
• The vast number of roses sold on Valentine's Day are imported (mostly from South America)
• 15% of US women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day (I'm sorry, but I find this stat sad and disheartening)
• 73% of purchasers of flower are men; 27% are women

Cards

• About 1 billion cards are exchanged each year
• 1/3 of cards are accompanied by gifts
• 70% celebrating the holiday give a card (followed by a telephone call 49%, gift 48%, special dinner 37%, candy 33%, restaurant meal 30% and flowers 19%)
• Teachers receive the most Valentine's Day cards (followed by children, mothers, wives and sweethearts)
• Children ages 6-10 exchange more than 650 million Valentine's cards with teachers, classmates and family members
• Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day

Chocolate & Candy

• According to NECCO, 8 billion "Conversation Hearts" are sold between Jan 1 and Feb 14
• More than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are sold

Black Friday - Cyber Monday (source: LA Times citing the National Retail Federation's 2010 results)

• 212 million shoppers visited stores and websites over the four-day weekend (up from 195 million in 2009)
• The average shopper spent $365.34 (up from $343.31 in 2009)
• Total spending reached an estimated $45.0 billion
• The number of people who began shopping at midnight was 9.5% (up from 3.3% in 2009)
• Stores that opened on Thanksgiving (the day before Black Friday)  saw 22.3 million customers (up from 10.3 million in 2005)
• Jewelry, gift cards, toys, books and electronic entertainment all saw increase in purchases in 2010 over 2009

As I said, I could go on-and-on about how bad the commercialization of holidays has become. I'll spare you all the details. Suffice it to say, however, that we Americans fall for it hook, line and sinker and open our wallets on each occassion. I'm a victim to the mentality just like the next guy.

My only hope is that the meaning for these holidays isn't completely drowned out by the almighty dollar.

wrapped around her little finger

Today is a special day in the Brown household. Why? Because it was one month ago today that Polly and I were blessed with the birth of our beautiful daughter Genevieve. One month would not warrant celebration to anyone reading this, but age is typically calculated in months for babies under the age of two. So, for Genevieve and her parents, one month is a big milestone.

What's amazing to me is how much she has accomplished in her first month. Sure, she cannot walk (though she loves pushing off on those legs) or talk (though she does make noises and is my child, so that will come soon enough...and never go away) or spend any time outside of a diaper. But she has learned a few cool things.

For one thing, she has figured out that holding her pacifier helps it stay in her mouth. For another, she has learned how to smile. Yes, she has learned how to do a few things. But none are more impressive than this: she has learned how to wrap her daddy around her little finger.

It blows my mind. How could a one-month-old baby have such control over a twenty-seven year old man? Well, she does. What's crazier is that I'm completely okay with it. I cannot help myself. I'm in love. Every time I look into her eyes and she looks back into mine, my heart skips a beat. And when she looks at me it's with a look that says, "Daddy, I'm your little girl" I cannot contain my joy. She already has me wrapped around her little finger. Let me give you a perfect example.

It was Valentine's Day (how fitting, right?). Polly, Genevieve and I left the house at 9:00 AM for a long packed-out day. We visited friends at my old work in Waltham, went to Red Robin for lunch, had my ordination interview and finally went to dinner at a Chinese buffet. We didn't arrive home until around 6:00 PM. Nine hours of being on-the-go.

After a bath (she made a bit of a mess while waiting for that interview) she started fussing. We tried all the normal tricks. We tried bouncing her, standing up and swaying her, sitting down and rocking her (all also examples of her being in control...I mean, after a long day, I wanted to sit. It wasn't up to me), giving her a pacifier and putting her in her swing. Nothing seemed to be working. She ate, was burped and started fussing again...twice. She had a clean diaper. We could not figure out what she wanted.

Finally, I decided to pat her back to make sure she wasn't gassy. I was lying down on my bed at this point. As soon as her head hit my shoulder, she stopped fussing. I didn't even have to pat her back. Knowing that she likes to have her back patted and rubbed, I did it anyway. She laid there for at least 20 minutes, wide awake and completely calm. Finally, she fell asleep. Polly told me I could put her in her swing to sleep since she was washing her bassinet sheets. I told her there was no way. I was going to let her sleep on me. And she did, for the next couple hours.

Polly and I learned a lesson. We had missed the obvious. We were out-and-about with her all day, spending time with her. But the vast majority of that time was spent in a car seat for her. What she longed for was to be cuddled. And daddy was not about to tell her no. Cuddling she wanted and cuddling she got. This moment melted my heart. I could feel the squeeze of me being wrapped tighter around her finger. And I did not fight it. How could I? I'm in love!

pacified

Genevieve is a little bit of a fusser. Thankfully she sleeps well during the night (most nights), but she certainly has her moments. Occasionally she is content to simply lie down, but typically there needs to be some movement involved. Usually, if she's moving she's happy. This makes car rides quite enjoyable. But it does not make things very easy when I am tired and want to relax and she wants to move around the house and look at things (usually lights, as I indicated in yesterday's blog post). The easiest thing to do in that moment is to give her a pacifier. 

Polly and I have determined, however, to try all alternatives before succumbing to the temptation of using a binky as a solution. We would prefer not to create a pacifier-dependent situation. But let's face it...when nothing else seems to calm her down, we bust out the binky. And, more often than not, it satisfies her (the only times it doesn't seem to be when she's gassy, poor thing).

She can be screaming her little (and powerful...from daddy) lungs off, getting all worked up. She can be so upset she's breathing heavily. But once the pacifier hits her mouth, she starts settling down (she winds down with a few soft whimpers and brings her hands to her cheeks...so cute). One day, as I was watching this phenomenon, it got me thinking: what if solving problems was that easy for adults.

I mean, think about it. What if an adult could be an emotional wreck and all worked up only to instantly calm down at the presentation of a pacifier. "Oh no, my girlfriend just left me...I will never find love again...I am so broken...I am so [insert pacifier] at peace with all things around me [suck, suck, suck]...why are there tears in my eyes? What happened?"

The thought seems silly, right? The scenario seems far-fetched. That's because it is...for adults. But for babies, this is essentially exactly how it works. Why shouldn't it though? I mean a baby's biggest problem is typically that he/she's not being pampered enough or has a dirty diaper. It's not like they're pacifying serious problems with the pacifier. Nonetheless, that thought comes to my mind now whenever I give Genevieve her pacifier.

For the record, no matter what method works (rocking her, singing to her, giving her a pacifier, etc.), my favorite times with Genevieve occur when she's pacified.

lights please

Genevieve loves light. Whenever she's awake, she's either staring at the lights, at the television or out the window. She will fuss if you put her in a position where she cannot see the lights. I don't know if this is common for babies or not, but it cracks me up.

I think this actually helps when it's time to sleep. With all the lights in the room turned off, she probably figures there's nothing exciting to do so she might as well sleep. I'm not sure if her mind really operates that way or not, but it makes sense.

When not looking at lights (rare), Genevieve spends time staring into Polly's or my eyes. Until this morning, I always thought that's because she knows us and loves us. That brings me to this morning's epiphany. I think she likes to stare at me because my glasses reflect light. Similarly, light reflects off the pupil of the eye. She's not staring at us because she knows us and loves us (not that I doubt those things are both true...it's just that it's not why she stares), she's staring because we reflect light. She uses us to satisfy her insatiable light craving.

I feel so used.

And I'm okay with it.

I don't care what reason she has for staring. She can look at me with her pretty blues any time she wants!

learning curve

Many kids cannot wait to be done with school. They dream of a day when they will have no more homework, school projects, papers or a need to take notes. Of course, what they don't realize is that these things will simply be replaced but work taken home, work projects, endless paperwork and notes to take at every meeting. I think that many kids are just tired of learning, but don't realize that we can never stop learning.

Personally, I love learning. I love to learn anything from important information relevant to my life or career to random facts that will likely help me accomplish nothing in life. I don't know why I'm this way, but I am. I simply love to learn. And I love to test my knowledge. Some of the methods I use to learn/test my knowledge are:

Boardgames - I definitely lean toward "Trivial Pursuit" rather than "Sorry." I also enjoy strategy games like "Risk." I have, however, lost my passion for chess.

TV Game Shows - I love shows like "Cash Cab" and "Jeopardy." I recently took the "Jeopardy" test. They do not tell you your results. I know I did not do well with art or literature questions, but did well overall. You can be assured that I am either proving my knowledge of a fact or learning a new fact each time I watch an episode of these shows (and others like them). I also love to exercise my brain with shows like "Wheel of Fortune" (and love puzzle books).

Sporcle.com - My brother-in-law introduced me to the world of Sporcle. I have spent countless hours testing myself on their vast array of quizzes. I can proudly say that I can tell you every country in the world and could point it out on a map. I have also discovered that I watch way too much TV.

These are just some examples of how I satisfy my constant hunger for learning. I also enjoy reading and going to museums and such. I have actually become a better listener as I've aged because I love to learn things random things from people. If I discover that someone has a lot of knowledge on a particular subject, I will typically do my best to draw it out.

So call me a nerd or a glutton for punishment, but I love to learn!

grown up

This year features my ten year reunion for high school. I would be lying if I said this didn't make me feel old.
As a youth pastor, I work with teenagers. They also make me feel old at times.
My soreness after exercise or activity lingers a little longer than it once did. Yep, feeling older.
While watching "Wipeout," I was quick to notice how immature a 19-year old was. Still feeling old.
I think I'm older than many of the Bruins players. Old, old, old.

As old as the five examples listed above make me feel, they do not even pale in comparison to something that's got me feeling old. In fact, for the first time in my life I feel like a grown up. What event spurred this on? Becoming a father.

You might contend that I should have felt like a grown up even prior to having a child. I mean, I have been married for over 3 years. I have lived either on my own or with my wife for nearly 6 years, paying my own bills. These doses of responsibility may have helped in the process, but they certainly didn't put me over the top. Regardless what you might contend, becoming a father is the event that finally has me feeling like a grown up. And when you really break it down it makes all the sense in the world. Let me briefly explain.

There was a huge psychological shift that occurred when I became a dad. I mean, think about it. Up until that moment, I always viewed myself as the kid in the parent-kid relationship. The words "mom" and "dad" instantly evoked the image of my mother and father in my mind. The words "kids" and "children" instantly evoked the image of my siblings and me.

But now that I have a child of my own, this has changed drastically. I now think of myself as the parent in the parent-kid relationship. The words "mom" and "dad" instantly evoke the image of Polly and me. The words "kid" and "child" instantly evoke the image of my daughter Genevieve.

As a child, without even realizing it, I defined a grown up as someone who served the role as parent in the parent-kid relationship. Now that I have fulfilled that prerequisite for my internal definition for "grown up," I finally see myself as a grown up, though I'm still not fully used to it. Opening a card on Valentine's Day with "Daddy" written on the envelope was certainly a new feeling. It reminded me of something that happened just after I got married. Polly opened and read all our cards as I drove to our honeymoon. I heard her say, "Mr. and Mrs. Brown." I was like, "Oh, that's from my parents?" She simply replied, "No, it's for us...you know, Mr. and Mrs. Brown." It didn't take long for me to adjust to that. And it hasn't taken too long to adjust to being a dad (though I'm not fully there yet). It already has me feeling like a grown up.

tip of the week: cherish every moment

One of the things I learned quite quickly when Polly and I got married and once again when Polly and I discovered we were pregnant was that everyone had advice. People came out of the woodwork offering up unsolicited nuggets of wisdom. And, often times, the advice one person gave was contradictory to the advice of another. The amount of advice proved to be quite overwhelming. I mean, how could I sift all the good from all the bad? The unfortunate consequence of receiving so much advice was that I ended up ignoring almost all of it. The response wasn't even necessarily intentional. There was simply no way for me to internalize it all. It was definitely a case of advice overload.

I deeply appreciate my parents. My dad and I sat and talked the week before I got married. He told me (paraphrasing), "Everyone is going to have advice for you. Don't worry about them. Every situation is different. You'll have to figure out what works for you and Polly." Amidst all the advice I'd been hearing to that point, this was music to my ears. I really appreciated him saying that. He then threw in this caveat (paraphrasing again), "The only advice I want to give you is this: Cherish Polly." You might say that it was contradictory for him to make that statement he made before giving me advice. But this advice was unlike the other advice I had been hearing. This was the good stuff I wish I had heard more of. How basic. How simple. Cherish Polly.

Cherishing Polly and cherishing every moment I spend with her is something I take very seriously. I love my wife. I thank God for her every day (literally). Polly and I have always made it a point to spend a lot of time together.  I cherish her. I cherish every moment with her.

Last Saturday, my parents came over our house and watched Genevieve so Polly and I could go out for a little bit. Since Genevieve doesn't take a bottle yet, we are limited in the amount of time we can spend away. Polly and I had not been apart from Genevieve together since she was born. Polly and I were excited for the opportunity.

We went to Friendly's for some ice cream. The place was packed so we ordered it to go and ate it in our car in the parking lot. We were only gone for 30-45 minutes, but I cherished every minute of it. We loved the opportunity. (If you don't think that counts as a date, you clearly don't have a nursing newborn.)

I love both my wife and daughter, but my wife was the one I specifically chose. She will always be my first love (after God)! I think it is incredibly important for us to set aside time just for the two of us. And when those moments come, I intend to cherish every moment! I encourage you all to do the same as well.

loving out loud

There are a lot of people in this country and in this world who have great needs. Some are homeless while others simply struggle to put food on the table. And many people think it's not their problem.

But the truth is that this world will be a much better place when we start concerning themselves with the needs of the people around us. I remember a homeless woman living in Malden when I was just a young boy. Her name was Norma. She was a widow with no place to live. I remember visiting Norma with my mom a few times. I think she moved around, but she spent many nights in an old abandoned parking lot in Malden square. I remember my mom making an extra plate of food and bringing it down for her to eat. I don't remember how often we did this, but I felt like it was often. The point is that I was blessed to have a mom who actually did something about it.

I was not surprised to learn recently that my mother was starting a new ministry directed toward the homeless in a particular motel in Malden. During the Christmas season, she put together care packages for many children. She made sure they had hats and mittens as well as some fun things to do (like coloring books). I wish I could say that I have grown up to care as much as my mother, but I can't. It's not that I don't care, but that I don't care enough.

I mean, sure, I pray for people who have needs. But most of my prayers involve other people helping them out. I haven't gotten personally involved. There's an old saying that says, "Sometimes we're so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good." James warns us in his letter (the book of James in the Bible) that we need to act in love. Faith without works is dead, he said. And it's true. When I see someone without a coat, I can either just pray...or pray and give them a coat. Why not show acts of kindness? Here's a poem I was inspired to write a couple of years ago:

I walk down the street, there are people all around

I try to avoid their eyes, mine are looking to the ground

I think, "If I don't look at them, I cannot hear them plead

And I won't be responsible to help them with their needs"

Still I hear a beggar plead, but i will not look up

I walk far around him, with no offering for his cup

I walk into a diner to grab a bite to eat

I order myself a sandwich and grab a window seat

As I look out the window, I finally see the homeless man

I look at him with pity, as he holds his empty can

His clothes are tattered and torn, it is hard to believe

I feel so bad for him as I finish my food and leave

I walk out the diner and see the man sitting on the ground

I can't believe no one's helping him, there are people all around

I continue on my way, walking down the street

My eyes quickly find their focus, looking down at my feet

A little further down the street, I hear a woman cry

She tries to call out to me, tears flowing from her eyes

I say, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm really in a rush"

I look right into her eyes, and I can see she's crushed

I remind myself that I have my own problems to worry about

I tell myself that her problems are not for me to work out

So I keep on walking, my eyes finally begin to search

I start to see familiar signs; finally, I'm at my church

And I made it just in time for prayer, to go get on my knees

I pray, "Dear God, please give me some opportunities

To be a witness and share my faith whatever comes my way

Help me Lord to spread your light and love you more this day."

God replies to me, and I can barely hear his voice

He says, "I've given you opportunities, you have made your choice

I put two people in your way, two of my children who had needs

And you kept your eyes down to the ground and avoided their pleas

You say that you love me, but you haven't lived it out

You're idea of love is superficial, and that's not what love's about

Next time you walk down the street and are walking amidst a crowd

I want you to stop and look at their needs, and start loving out loud

I don't want to be that person who overlooks others' problems while spewing out my excuses any more. My friend Tony preached about this a few days ago. The sermon reminded me what I already knew I need to be doing. In response, I am giving myself until the end of March to find a practical way to get involved on a regular basis. I encourage you all to do the same too. Let's love out loud!

habit i couldn't afford

It was near the end of January and I found myself in an all too familiar situation. I had once again failed to notice that my inspection sticker was about to expire. Actually, both my car and my wife's car had only a few days left. Somehow, I always seem to maintain ignorance with regards to this. A friend of mine happened to notice our stickers after he had just returned from having his inspected. To make my life easy, I went to the nearest gas station. As the guy inspected the car, I sat inside the small (10' by 10' might be generous) store in a lawn chair. They didn't have a TV (some places do) or anything entertaining to do. So I just let my eyes wander. That's when it caught my eye.

Upon seeing the signs with the prices of cigarettes, I was once again reminded how blessed I was to have never taken on that habit. It truly is a habit I simply couldn't afford. And this is an intentional double entendre. I cannot afford the habit physically or financially. Let's take a look.

1. Physically - We're all pretty familiar with the dangers of smoking these days. The statistics are difficult to read.  I took the following chart from the Center's for Disease Control and Prevention's website (www.cdc.gov):

Too many lives are being lost to this addiction. It's no wonder why many of my friends and family who smoke (or used to smoke) are so anxious to quit. It's not always such an easy task, however. This is one reason I'm thankful that I never started. I thought about smoking in middle school. I thought it would be cool. A friend of mine who smoked talked me out of it. She was not much older than I was at the time. And she told me that regretted having ever started smoking. She didn't want me to make the same mistake she did. I'm not sure if I would have started smoking or not, but I was very grateful for a friend who cared enough to ensure that I didn't. On a positive note, I did have a friend recently quit in time for his son's grand entry into the world. Now, his son won't have to be around second hand smoke.

2. Financially - As I mentioned, I was shocked when I saw the prices of cigarettes. They were like $7.75/pack. I'm doing well if I have a loose $7.75 in my wallet. Polly and I live on a fixed budget. There's just no way I could afford to buy those on a regular basis. I feel bad for people who are addicted. I don't know how they manage financially. On a side note, I know that most of the money is taxes. The government knows how dangerous they are (see graph above off government website) but refuse to do anything about them because they enjoy the money that they make off of them.

On the bright side of things, I feel like I see people smoking less often. I remember a time when stores sold "loosies" for 25 cents and there were vending machines that sold cartons. Those days are gone, and perhaps some of the prevalence with them. Not to mention it's illegal to smoke in most public places. The only negative (which doesn't come close to outweighing the positive) is that now that I'm not around cigarettes nearly as often, it has a worse effect on me when I am.

To those of you who may smoke and are looking to quit, I believe in you. And I know that you'll appreciate the improved health and the increased figure in your bank account...

love story, part 3: two first dates

First Date 1

If you have read my blog posts from the past two days ("love story, part 1"; "love story, part 2"), then you know that today is a significant day for me. Today marks the seventh anniversary of my first date with Polly. It was a great first date. As great as it was, I would be lying if I said that I remembered every last detail of that February 14, 2004 night. Here are a couple of the key details I do recall:

The Characters - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to be able to determine the characters at the most basic level. This blog post is about my first date with Polly. Simple logic should lead one to deduce that Polly and I were involved in our own first date. But, while that's true, we do not make up the complete cast. This is because our first date was not a solo date. In fact, it was a triple date. The other couples joining us were a sort of friend that I hooked up with a friend and two friends going with each other as friends. We were the only dating couple in the group. For the record, the "sort of friend' I had hooked up with a friend was none other than my current best friend, Dave Allender. The guy friend from the two friends who went together is also still a friend of mine, Beryl Robert. Dave and Beryl are each happily married to women who were not a part of this evening.

The Date, Part 1 - Dave, Beryl and I made all the plans for the evening, opting to surprise the ladies. For part 1, we told the girls to dress in jeans and t-shirts. We took them to a pottery place. It wasn't a place where you make your own pottery, but a place where you buy a piece of pre-made pottery and paint it yourself. After you paint it, they kiln it and you pick it up a few days later. Polly picked out a cute dragon and painted him her two favorite colors: purple and green. I picked out a picture frame and painted a design on it as well as Polly's name. I still have (and use) this picture frame (with a picture of Polly inside of course).

The Date, Part 2 - After the pottery place, we took the girls back to the campus and had them change into dressier clothes. We then took them to dinner at Springfield's finest Italian restaurant--Zio's Italian Kitchen (this is a small chain in the Midwest/Southwest USA). This was our favorite restaurant while at school. The picture that Polly and I have of us from this dinner is the first picture of the two of us together.

It was such a great first date. After the date, I believe Polly and I went back to the Flower's lobby (CBC folks will know what I am talking about) and talked. And, in case you were wondering, there was no kiss after this first date. That wouldn't come for some time much later on.

First Date 2

Today is not only special because it marks the anniversary of my first date with Polly. Today is also special because it will mark my first daddy-daughter date with Genevieve. I have wanted a daughter for quite some time now. And I have looked forward to daddy-daughter dates for just as long. I love my beautiful little girl so much. And I love the thought of spending time with my little daddy's girl. Here's the plan:

The Characters - Much like my first date with Polly, my first daddy-daughter date with Genevieve will not be a solo date. Why? Because Polly's coming along too. Is it really a daddy-daughter date if mommy comes along? It is in my book. It's a special daddy-mommy-daughter date. How blessed can one man be? I get to spend the day with my two favorite girls!

The Date - We don't have plans for anything fancy. I mean, my daughter is only a couple days past 3 weeks old. No, we're just planning to go to one of our favorite restaurants (Red Robin...yummm!) and grab some lunch (and like the Valentine's Breakfast on Saturday, Genevieve won't even be able to enjoy any of the food directly). But having simple plans doesn't make today any less special to me!

love story, part 2: creativity unleashed

I looked at my list of things I wanted to purchase. I simply did not have enough money for all this. I didn't have enough money for much of anything during most of college, so this was no surprise. I already had quite a few dollars set aside for the Valentine's Day date ("love story, part 3" will cover this tomorrow). I knew I needed to wow her though. How could I possibly make all this happen on such a limited budget? Creativity. It was the only solution.

This was the situation facing me the week of Valentine's Day in 2004. Polly and I were not dating at this point (though we were by that Valentine's Day as discussed in yesterday's blog post "love story, part 1: se7en years ago"), but I wanted to make a great impression. I wanted her to know that I cared about her and that I could be romantic. But money was an issue. In fact, it's a big problem with Valentine's Day.

Let's face it, Valentine's Day is a money hog. It's one of the holidays that is driven by commercialism. The beneficiaries of this holiday are often florists, chocolate makers and greeting card companies. That being said, I'm not a proponent of doing away with Valentine's Day. I'm just tired of the status quo. The status quo is for a man to buy his significant other flowers, chocolates and a card. As long as he accomplishes this task, she will be happy. This is a warped theory for two major reasons:

1. Love is shared between two people in a relationship, it's not one-sided. If it's one-sided, the relationship will not last. Considering the fact that love is not one-sided, why should a day set apart to celebrate it be one-sided? Valentine's Day shouldn't be a day only for men to dote upon women. It should be a day of men and women doting upon each other.

2. The status quo is essentially thoughtless and thus pointless. Walmart has been running radio ads about getting cards, chocolates and roses on the cheap. Are you kidding me? So this should be about satisfying these three criteria and as cheaply as possible? Why even bother. The idea of crossing each of the three items off the checklist is boring and uses no thought or creativity. It's a robotic act. Love is not a robotic act. Love is thoughtful. So shouldn't Valentine's Day be.

I believe that people should stop succumbing to the status quo and start using a little more thought. People should stop being so predicable and start being more creative. Let's overcome the status quo!

Back to my situation from Valentine's Day 2004. I didn't only want to be romantic and creative on Valentine's Day, but I also wanted to ask Polly to be my valentine in a romantic way, using creativity. Here are the elements of my official request for Polly to be my valentine:

• The Surprise Factor - I had Polly's roommate Julie set up the room while Polly was at work. Polly was surprised when she walked into her room after work. The next three elements are the items she saw.
• Paper Rose Petals - I wanted rose petals leading from her door to the desk where "The flowers" would be and to her bed where "The box" would be. I just couldn't afford another thing. The solution, my friend Aaron and I created a rose petal shape in paint, copied it onto a Word document and printed off over a thousand of them using my friend Jake's pink and red printing paper. Each rose petal had the words "rose petal" written on it. Aaron also helped me in cutting them all out by hand. This took me hours, but it was worth it.
• The flowers - Don't get me wrong, flowers can be a nice touch if the person you're looking to dote upon enjoys them. But instead of picking up a random bouquet or the standard roses, why not find out what her favorite flowers are. I discovered that Polly loved daisies, so I had a beautiful arrangement put together in a basket. Julie set the basket on Polly's desk.
• The box - I will admit that this was incredibly cheesy, but still effective. I took a cardboard box and wrapped it with red construction paper. On it I wrote, "MY HEART." Inside was a stuffed dog. (Polly's not a huge stuffed animal girl, which I should have done more research into before hand. She didn't hate it, but it didn't add anything either. I could have saved the money.) With the stuffed dog was a poem. The title of the poem was "From the bottom of my heart." It was within the poem that I asked her to accompany me on Valentine's Day.

Polly was quite impressed with everything and accepted my invitation. I was reminiscing with Polly about this story. When I asked her if she remembered if there were daisies, she said she honestly could not remember. The item which cost the most money and fit the status quo is the one that was least significant to her. If you ask her about the paper rose petals, I know she'll remember. This is still Polly's favorite thing I've ever done for her. She still has some of the paper rose petals and her user name for some websites is "paperrosepetals."

In subsequent years, I have worked to keep the creativity juices flowing. For one Valentine's Day, I gave her a candle stand adorned with Play-Doh roses I made. (My friend Jake taught me how to make them and bake them.) For another, my friend Aaron helped me make her a Play-Doh-mation video. It was only a couple of minutes in length but took hours to make.

quo each February 14th. Not every Valentine's Day features a big extravagant plan, but each one is full of love, thoughtfulness and creativity!

love story, part 1: se7en years ago

February 12, 2011

Today is my church's annual Valentine's Breakfast. Every Saturday that falls directly before or on Valentine's Day, the men of the church cook breakfast for the women of the church. We greet them at the door with a rose, escort them to the dining area, cook for them and serve them. The women take this opportunity to fellowship with one another as they're being pampered. We even have childcare all worked out for them. The men get to hang out while making breakfast, so really it's a win-win.

I began participating in this event in 2006 (my first Valentine's Day at the church). Though I enjoyed helping out in 2006 and 2007, the event has been a lot more meaningful for me since 2008. Polly was still in college during Valentine's Day 2006 and 2007. She didn't arrive at the church until the summer of 2007. We got married in October of that same year. Polly has enjoyed the last three Valentine's Breakfasts. Today will be her fourth. I use Valentine's day to dote upon her personally, but I enjoy her being present as we bless all the women in the church (even the widows) on this day. I know Polly looks forward to it each year.

This year, I am looking forward to it even more than in the three years prior. The reason: this year, I will have two girls present at the breakfast. As most of you know, our little daughter made her grand debut into this world on January 22. She is three weeks old today (man, time is flying by already). Genevieve won't get to enjoy any of the delicious breakfast (well, not directly anyway; she will get to enjoy it indirectly as she is nursed) but she will likely be the focal point of the event. She will undoubtedly be passed around the room all morning long.

The joy of the event today is really just symbolic of my life. I am happily married to the woman of my dreams with a beautiful little girl (I've always wanted my daddy's little girl). If I were given the option to go back and re-write my life today, I would not do it. I am exactly where I want to be with whom I want to be! God has been extremely good to me.

Today is actually a fitting day for me to be so excited about the way my life has turned out to this point. One of the biggest decisions that impacted my life occurred exactly seven years ago today.

February 12, 2004

I had just successfully asked Polly to be my Valentine. We were set to go on our first date ("love story, part 3" will cover this on Monday) in only two days. Polly and I had a mutual liking for each other for quite a few months at this point. We had hung out in a group setting, but had yet to go on an actual date. I had used much creativity in asking her ("love story, part 2" will cover this tomorrow). I was very excited.

I had yet to have a serious relationship at this point in my life. I think I was afraid of commitment. And for me, an old-school individual, dating is a commitment. My longest relationship prior to this was one month in high school. I ended that relationship when I realized that I wasn't really ready for commitment. There was one girl between high school and this point that I was serious about, but things never worked out and we never actually dated (by dating, I mean boyfriend-girlfriend...we are still friends by the way). I simply refused to have a girlfriend until I knew I was ready to commit and thought marriage was a possibility. I was also afraid of rejection. I had experienced a couple instances that I interpreted as rejection to this point and did not like that feeling at all.

That's why my feelings on this day were so foreign to me. There was something about Polly. The feelings I had for her were different than those I had ever had for any other girl. I thought she was incredible. She was beautiful, funny, smart, thoughtful and loved God. The truth is: I was still afraid of commitment. I was also still afraid of rejection. But for the first time in my life, something scared me even more: the thought of losing her.

At the end of the day (quite literally, actually) I just could not take that risk. I knew what I had to do. With more butterflies in my stomach than I had ever experienced before, I decided to man up and do what I knew I needed to do. Even though it was pretty late in the evening, I called Polly. We met in Zimmerman and sat on the steps leading from the second to third floor (this location will mean something to some of you) and talked. We talked for quite some time if I remember correctly. I put my heart out there. She could have crushed it that night. But she didn't. By the time my head hit the pillow that night, Polly and I were officially dating. We were boyfriend and girlfriend. We never looked back.

Seven years ago today, I finally stood up to my fears and made one of the best decisions of my life!

oh say, can you s...ing the national anthem?

Many people have weighed in with their opinions regarding Christina Aguilera's rendition of the National Anthem at last Sunday's Super Bowl. I thought I'd take today's blog post to add one more opinion to the mix.

In case you haven't seen or heard about the incident, let me give you a brief explanation: Christina sang, "What the proudly we watched at the twilight's last gleaming" instead of the correct line, "O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming." Basically she sang the 2nd line as both the 2nd and 4th line of the song, with the word "watched" replacing "hailed" the second time through.

Christina has been absolutely crushed in the media, on twitter and in the blog-o-sphere. While I cannot defend her error, I would like to defend her...sort of. Let me explain.

Let me begin by stating that I am not a Christina Aguilera fan. Though I respect her vocal ability, I am annoyed by her insistence to double the length of every song with ridiculous runs at the end of every line. That being said, I'm indifferent toward Christina Aguilera, the singer, so I believe my opinion should be pretty unbiased.

Christina's botched lyrics are inexcusable in the same way that anyone singing any song in front of millions of people should know the lyrics backwards and forwards. I will argue, however, that people who claim it's somehow worse because it's the National Anthem are wrong. What she did was not unpatriotic and her citizenship should not be called into question. Sadly, many Americans don't know the proper lyrics to the National Anthem. I don't call their patriotism into question. I call their ability to remember lyrics into question. I think this accusation is a tall leap and is completely unfair. She's not the first to forget the lyrics (if you don't believe me, run a simple search for botched versions of the National Anthem on google; there are plenty of them), nor will she be the last.

Though there is nobody to blame besides Christina for the forgotten lyrics, I don't hold her completely responsible for the entire debacle. Why? Because I contend that she should have never been asked to perform the National Anthem at the Super Bowl in the first place. In my opinion, this was the real mistake. In fact, when announced that she was going to perform the National Anthem, I reacted negatively. A couple of guys at the same Super Bowl party immediately questioned my negativity. They argued that Christina has a great voice. I countered. While conceding that she is talented and has a great voice, I stated the following two reasons for my displeasure:

1. Because I knew that she would perform her runs on the end of every line (which she did) and, as I've already mentioned, that annoys me.

2. More importantly (and the real point of my blog post), my belief is that the National Anthem is an incredibly unique song that is only meant to be sung by certain individuals. It is incredibly rare that musical pop artists do well singing this song. "The Star Spangled Banner" simply takes a particular type of voice. And that type of voice, I argue, is not typically the same as the type that sells platinum records. In other words, I don't think pop music and "The Star Spangled Banner" mix very well. Instead of getting a big-name musical artist, they should just get a person who sings the song correctly and well.

At the end of the day, with or without the error, I've certainly heard many worse renditions of this song. Whether it's people who can't sing (like Roseanne Barr or Walter McCarty - search those if you don't believe me) or people who don't sing that style and/or change the song to fit their style (like Steven Tyler - I've heard more than one awful version from him), there are plenty of bad renditions of this song to go around.

When will the people who arrange the performance of the National Anthem for big events (or any event for that matter) learn that the audience cares more about the song being sung right than it does about the person (people) singing the song. The singing of the National Anthem is not the forum for popular musical artists to perform.

I think this problem is even magnified in the Super Bowl's case because they already have a forum for popular musical artists to perform--during the halftime show. This year, they handed those reigns over to a terrible-sounding Fergie with the Black Eyed Peas and an awkward cameo by Slash from Guns N' Roses (made more awkward by Fergie's "dancing" around him). This was not surprising, however, as I think the Super Bowl has struck out in most (if not all) of their halftime performances in recent history. But I digress.

So, did Christina mess up? Yep. Does she deserve the criticism to the level she's been receiving it? Nope. What do I think should be done about it? I think people should take that critical energy and focus it on the decision to have her perform the National Anthem in the first place, in order to ensure that we don't repeat these mistakes in the future. The real mistake was in the decision, not in the performance.

tip of the week: don't tax yourself

If you have watched any television lately, you have undoubtedly been bombarded by the numerous commercials confirming that this is in fact tax season. It seems to me that this commercials have increased over previous years. With the month of January behind us, everyone should have their W-2's and all other necessary tax documents. I am not qualified to give anyone advice regarding specific tax issues, but I thought I'd share three basic, general tips.

1. Don't Delay - Many people wait for the April 15th deadline to creep up on them to file their taxes. I have no stats or figures to prove it, but I would be comfortable arguing that tax season brings procrastination to its peak. So, let's say you beat the deadline. You're now in line with millions of other procrastinators waiting for your return. The sooner you file your taxes, the sooner you get your money. If you file early in the tax season, it takes only a week or two for the money to find its way to your bank account. The only excuse for procrastinating is when people know they owe money...delaying the inevitable. Those people should reassess the amount they're paying in taxes to start with, but this is the only good excuse I can think of. If you anticipate getting money back from the government, don't delay your cash flow. File your taxes ASAP. I submitted all my tax documents to my tax person before January was over. This brings me to my second tip.

2. Go to a Professional - Many people insist that they know what they're doing and they are completely capable of e-filing on their own. Some of those people are probably right. Most are probably hurting themselves. Now, I'm not recommending that you go to big companies that hire people just before tax season, putting them through minimal training. I went to a place once where I felt like I knew more about my taxes than they did. But there are many people and businesses who are educated on taxes and who are much more qualified to prepare them than the average person may be. I know some people who have gotten back a lot more than they usually do once they finally gave and seek professional help. I also have known people who owe more than they thought. Since we can't claim ignorance in disputing a fine from the IRS, it's better to file your taxes accurately. It costs money to use a professional, but it typical pays off in the end when you do use one (whether your getting or paying money).

3. Don't Spend it All in One Place - Many people pick a big ticket item they have been wanting and use their tax money to buy it. If you are comfortable financially then that's a practical idea. But if you ever find yourself needing a little extra money each month, you might be better served to put your tax money into a savings account and use it as you need it.

I'm in no place to tell anyone what to do, nor would I try to. You can choose to take or leave these tips. My hope is that they may assist at least a couple of people.

nicknames

In Monday's blog post, I discussed how my wife and I came up with our daughter's name. Today, I figured I would discuss the idea of nicknames.You may have noticed that I never shorten Genevieve's name with a nickname each time I mention her. This is not a coincidence. We have no desire to shorten her name. We think her name is beautiful the way that it is. That's why we picked it. If we wanted her name to be shorter, we would have given her a shorter name. People have asked me what I intend to call Genevieve. My reply: Genevieve. I'm not saying that people are wrong to give nicknames, but Polly and I aren't big fans of them.

I don't mean to come across sounding snobbish or anything like that, but we want our daughter to have an appreciation for her full name. If she chooses to shorten it when she grows up, that will be her decision (though Polly and I would still call her Genevieve). We like her name and intend to continue to call her by it.

It felt good to get that off my chest. Now, after all that, I would like to completely contradict myself and give you our preferred nicknames. As I said, Polly and my preference is for Genevieve's full name to be used. But we acknowledge the fact that others will want to shorten it. There are four nicknames we've been okay with so far. They are:

1. G (can never go wrong with the first letter of a long name)
2. Eve (or Evie)
3. Vieve (pronouncing the "i" as a "long e" sound and the "e" as a "soft e" sound like in the French pronunciation of the name)
4. Viv

We are adamant about avoiding "Gen" or "Genny." I know plenty of people with those nicknames, but that's actually the problem. I don't dislike those names, but we gave our daughter a unique name intentionally. We would prefer a nickname to be unique as well. I think a unique first name is important for someone with as common a last name as "Brown."

super bowl xlv commercials: the good, the bad and the ugly

As I told you all in Sunday's blog post, I was looking forward to seeing the commercials during the Super Bowl Sunday night with great anticipation. I can honestly say that I was not disappointed. Sure, there were some duds, but there were also some real winners. What this year epic? I'm not sure about that, but it was certainly a good year and much better than last year. Anyway, here's my take on the commercials, any of which can be viewed here:

The Good

Volkswagen: I thought Volkswagen was the big winner for the night. Their "Young Vader" commercial featuring a kid dressed as Darth Vader and trying to use the force. His dad remotely starts the car leaving the kid to think that he finally figured it out. I personally thought the commercial was genius and the big winner from the night. Volkswagen also had a winner with "Black Beetle" with a beetle zooming around passing by all the other bugs before the shape turned into the outline of the new beetle. I really enjoyed these commercials.

Bridgestone: I thought last year's commercial with the whale in the back of the SUV being flung back into the ocean was extremely overrated, but this year they were a hit with 2 quality ads. Their "Karma" add with the man swerving to avoid the beaver and then, 6 months later, the beaver forcing the guy to stop as the bridge collapsed up ahead was great. And their "Reply All" commercial with the guy destroying every device that his email could have gone to before being told he had only replied to his friend after all was hilarious.

Pepsi Max: They had a dud with "First Date" as that humor just doesn't work for me. But their "Revenge" and "Love Hurts" commercials were pretty funny.

Doritos: They had 3 decently humorous commercials. "Best for Last" was gross yet funny with the guy licking the left over cheese off his co-workers finger. "Pug" was funny as you were waiting to see what happened. "Healing Chips" was decently funny. I don't think any of them beat the kid smacking his mom's date when he touched the Doritos from a past year, but they were still ok.

Chevy Silverado: The other Chevy commercials didn't do it for me, but the "Rescue" commercial with the truck acting like Lassie was pretty good.

Careerbuilder.com: They're usually good for a decent commercial each year. The monkeys are getting a little old, but "Chimps" was still different enough and clever enough to evoke some laughter.

Cars.com: "Go First" was pretty funny. I think this commercial was better than Carmax.com's attempts.

Daimler Chrysler: I thought the "Eminem Detroit" ad was pretty clever and well done. They hit the right market, no doubt. It was better than Eminem's claymation Brisk Ice Tea commercial.

Budweiser: They're Wild West commercial had an unexpected twist making it pretty good.

The Bad

The other car commercials: Chevy (besides the Silverado; the Camaro "Commercial Pitch" wasn't awful, but wasn't good either), Mini, Hyundai, BMW, Mercedes and all other car commercials were not very good in my opinion.

All movie trailers: I hate when a movie trailer starts. What a waste of a good ad spot.

Best Buy: "Ozzy vs Bieber" was obnoxious.

E*Trade: I'm growing tired of the E*Trade baby.


Technological Products: I hate commercials for all things technology. They're never good.

CocaCola: I was completed unimpressed with all their ads.

Beer ads: The beer commercials have become predictable and stupid. Aside from Budweiser's Wild West commercial, I thought they were all pretty dumb.

The Ugly

Inappropriate Commercials: I'm sick of the "Sex Sells" stigma often placed on commercials. I changed my channel any time GoDaddy.com ads came on. I also flipped the station when that Skechers commercial featuring Kim Kardashian aired (which I heard was awful anyway). I also didn't appreciate the Sealy/Sleepy's commercial. I didn't flip away from that one either time, but wished I'd grab the remote sooner the second time around. Their were kids around. Unnecessary. It was stupid anyway.

Groupon.com: Their ad came across to me as slightly offensive as they downplayed their initial statement about Tibetan struggles. Poor taste.

Stella Artois: "The Crying Crooner" was so bad. It couldn't have ended quickly enough.

Castrol: "Strongest Drive" was comical because it aired at a time the Steelers were getting whooped yet highlighted how awesome they were.

You may have watched the commercials and have a differing opinion of your own and I'm sure you'll see differing opinions if you look around online. I am sure I've forgotten a really good one or really bad one, but these are the ones that stood out to me.

Maybe next year will be the EPIC year I've been waiting for...