english language

I wrote this poem in college just as a fun way to point out some crazy rules and parts of speech of English. See if you can figure out all the different rules I break or parts of speech I use as I state them...

English Language by Michael Brown

The English language makes me mad, it's so frustrating People speak their own way to make the point they are stating People always use words and phrases way over my head They use figures of speech, thinking I should know what they've said I get mad whenever people use malapropisms Because it creates chasms; I mean schisms Between people who understand and those who don't I've never liked when people use contractions, and I won't People always try to be clever, but I've got some ideas I'm gonna shush people when they use onomatopoeias And any time I hear people using hyperbole I'm gonna kick them from here to Italy To me that's just as stupid as an inclusio or a simile Which is like a poet writing a quatrain; it's silly to me People use double-superlatives and think they're the bestest People pause to create their puns; we've gotta rest this To state the meaning of a word may be people's intention But it seems nobody knows how to give a definition And I can't but become angry when I hear conjunctions However, they are often used; yet, not many know their functions Alliteration constantly causes craziness to captivate me And it seems people choose to use adverbs innately People are always making allusions to different things It's just like what the song says that that one dude sings If people use the conditional, then that is very bad If they're redundant, verbose, and superfluous, I get mad People should pay their dues if they choose to use internal rhyme Especially when they can't rhyme words most of the time If I were to use the subjunctive, I would be mad at me Most don't understand the reflexive, which makes me angry Nobody gets more frustrated at elliptical clauses than I As opposed to assonance, which I find lights up my eyes But I don't like it when people are comparing and contrasting Or using run-on sentences their lengths are everlasting To be using an infinitive is to be doing something dumb Putting prepositions at ends of sentences, where did that come from? Spoonerisms aren't too bad because they lake me maugh Too many people talk in statistics; I think it's more than half People try to show they're smart by giving a means They also tend to generalize; this describes all teens People use certain slang in different regions; they think it's rad They think that it's nifty, but it makes me wicked mad I hate it with a passion when I hear a contradiction I wish everyone made them; at least, that's my conviction I hate it whenever people use confabulation Because I have never been one to give a fabrication I get mad whenever people talk in clichés It's not the end of the world, but it's dumb anyways Just like when people put an "s" where it doesn't belong Or people who are long-winded and drag things along People who make up words make me angrified They claim poetic license, but it still burns me inside But most of all I hate when people don't finish a poem