but wait there's more

Who hasn't ever seen an infomercial? They're like the only things that air on TV early in the morning and late at night. It seems to me that most people are annoyed by them and turn them off. If this is indeed the case, then I am not most people. I love a "good" infomercial. And my "good" I mean an overly cheesy one with poor acting and silly demands. Call me weird (don't really please) but as ridiculous and predictable as they can be, I actually find them entertaining and therefore enjoyable. (My favorite is the Magic Bullet one. My friend and I saw it a couple of times in college. He bought me one as a wedding gift.) I mean, they really are predictable. They all pretty much follow the same pattern, which is as follows:

• A host is shown how a product operates and how convenient it is in front of a live audience.
• The host uses certain punch lines like "No way!" or "I have always wished I had something to do all this!"
• The audience "Ooh"s and "Aah"s in amazement of this truly innovative product.
• The person presenting the product make some ridiculous assertion as though it's a clear cut fact like "It will cut your cooking time in half!" or "It picks up 95% more dirt!"
• The host quickly becomes an expert on the product because it really is that user friendly.
• Then the host makes a statement along the lines of "Something this convenient and effective must cost a bundle!"
• The product presenter then lists the value of the product.
• Then the presenter goes through a list of what the item does not cost, followed but how much it does cost (so low).
• "But wait there's more! If you call in the next 5 minutes, you will receive a second product absolutely free. You only pay the shipping and handling.
• This cycles like 5-10 times throughout the program.

So, here's the problem with what they do:

• The host already knows all about the product (including how it works) and the audience is probably paid.
• The assertions are generally baseless or deceptive. Like when cooking products are claimed to cut the cooking time they act like it also cuts the prep time, but it doesn't. They're using foods that have already been prepared. And when they're not baseless or deceptive, they're usually pointless. I remember a vacuum cleaner once that could pick up a bowling ball. Because you need a vacuum that can do that and all.
• The value is completely made up. I mean, the company can set whatever value they want.
• If you have to pay shipping and handling (usually set ridiculously high) it's not free!
• You will not only get the deal in the next 5 minutes as that same cut making that claim will be shown again in 5 minutes.

We all know how bogus infomercials are, but that's what makes them entertaining to me.